Crystals for Scorpio

Wow. A new moon AND a fresh new month all at the same time. This is… big energy.

Scorpio season is all about death and rebirth: just as a scorpion must shed its skin in order to grow into the next phase of its life, so too do we have to let go of the old in order to make room for the new.

Theres a… brutal honesty that comes with this change in the season, from Libra’s bubbly social life to Scorpio’s airtight boundaries, but, it’s also kind of a breath of fresh air?

This new moon in Scorpio definitely feels like an invitation to cut the bullshit and really be clear about what we want (and what we might have to let go of in order to make that happen.

And so, we are here with our New Moon tradition, the release of the Journaling Prompts for Scorpio Season PDF Download.

Journaling Prompts for Scorpio Season - PDF Download

$5.55

And also, one of my other favorite New Moon rituals, this season’s crystal guide.

For those that haven’t been following along for the whole series, I have been writing out guides to the selections of crystals that I curated for each zodiac sign back in the 2020-2021 astrological year as I designed my Zodiac Jewelry Collection. If you’d like to catch up with the series, you can read the posts for Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, and Libra all at their respective links.

When I was designing the collection, I was focused on selecting crystals that would help support wearers with placements in those signs, but as time went on, I really grew to see how those same stones can help us all out throughout each zodiac season.

In the spirit of Scorpio season, let’s get right to the important part: the crystals.

Black Obsidian

OF COURSE the first crystal that I pick for Scorpio season is BLACK. You know, because Scorpios are all spooky and mysterious. Actually that’s not why I chose to start with Black Obsidian. I chose Black Obsidian to lead the pack because Black Obsidian is a fiercely protective stone. And that shroud of mystery that Scorpios tend to project? That’s just boundaries, baby. Black Obsidian helps us to keep the energies we to not want to mess with out of our space so that we do not have to deal with it. She’s not just an energetic bouncer that helps us to stay in our lane, she’s also a stone of growth and exploration, which is a perfect fit for Scorpio season and its themes of resilience and reinvention.

Aquamarine

Aquamarine may seem like an odd choice for Scorpio Season, but I’m going to need you to hear me out on this one. First of all, Scorpio is a water sign, and it felt wrong to not include any stones with watery energy in this collection. Second, Aquamarine is a stone of courage and honesty. If you have any Scorpios in your life (I have a Scorpio rising and so do both of my kids… That's… a tough combo…), you know that Scorpios do not pull any punches when it comes to their thoughts and opinions. And, neither does Aquamarine. She helps us to say what needs to be said, but also… maybe helps us to take the time to do so with clarity, and maybe not be so judgmental about it. Maybe.

Smoky Quartz

I know I say this about a lot of crystals, but I do really, truly, genuinely mean this about Smoky Quartz: this is one of my absolute all time favorite crystals. Smoky Quartz is THE stone for Scorpio’s whole death-and-rebirth thing. Honestly, this might be the stone of the season. She helps us out by transmuting negative energy into positive energy, whether that’s within us or just around us. This is a stone that’s really helpful through times of change and transition. When we take the time to get really honest about what might be holding us back from getting what we really want in life, Smoky Quartz brings us the clarity we need to confidently follow our intuition, especially when it comes to letting go of those things that are no longer serving us.

Citrine

Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the dark side of Scorpio season, but we can’t forget that the reason we are keeping our boundaries high and pruning away the things that are no longer helping us to live the life that we want, is so that we can move on to the next stage and actually live that life. And Citrine is the perfect stone to help us remember this. Citrine is a stone of abundance and success, but… abundance and success that flows easily and joyfully through aligned action. You know, like, the golden rewards from all the work I’ve been talking about in the sections about the other stones. And I mean, it makes sense that protecting our energy, being boldly honest about what we want, and dropping everything that was blocking us from that would just invite in effortless success. Citrine is our, quite literal, light at the end of the tunnel.

Malachite

Finally, our last stone for Scorpio Season is Malachite. Malachite is a stone associated with GROWTH. Not just lowercase, linear, baby steps kind of growth, but big, capital letters, expansive GROWTH that can only happen after we shed our old, too small skins (like a scorpion). Malachite is a stone of transformation that really supports us through this often grueling process, and encourages us to take the risks necessary to follow our intuition. Malachite, like Scorpio, can have a more serious energy. But this isn’t a bad thing here, it helps us to take ownership and responsibility for our choices, which in turn, makes it even more satisfying when we get to see the end results of the growth process.

And there you have it, the crystal guide for Scorpio season. I hope that you’ve enjoyed coming along this journey with me.

CRYSTALS FOR SCORPIO

from $30.00

If this post has made you curious about my Crystals for Scorpio Collection, you can find it right here (and if you’re interested in other signs, the full Zodiac Collection can be found here). And if it’s inspired you to take a moment for some journaling, you can find the Journaling Prompts for Scorpio Season right here as well.

See you next month for Sagittarius season!

DIY Bat/Demon Wings (easy sewing project for Halloween and beyond!)

A funny thing about the trajectory of my life is that, despite the fact that I have spent many years trying to do other “more important” things with my professional life, the unavoidable truth is that the overwhelming majority of my website traffic comes from a Halloween costume DIY tutorial that I posted in 2017.

And I don’t mean that this post gets a spike of traffic every fall leading up to Halloween costume time, I mean that this blog post has first page google results for EVERY relevant search term (first 5 results for several of them) year round.

Like, every single day multiple people read that blog post. For seven years. Dave Eggers’ editor told me in person that it was really good and funny. I reference it in job interviews as having “collaborated with a NYT bestselling children’s author” because… that’s technically not a lie NOW even though that wasn’t… really… true at the time.

But I digress.

My point with bringing all of this up is that I don’t think I can really avoid it any longer that the thing that I am best at and have had the most long-term success with is… DIY tutorial blog posts.

And as I find myself finally actually getting out of the severe burnout that I found myself in after an onslaught of personal crises that I should probably write a separate blog post about because it has no place inside a craft tutorial, I’m finding myself doing a lot more crafts.

Even… Doing elaborate Halloween costumes again.

I don’t think you, a stranger on the internet (or maybe a friend who made it here over from social media!) have any idea what a HUGE deal this is.

I mean, my kids and I did a WHOLE family DisneyBound as Hades, Pain and Panic from the Disney movie version of Hercules for our Oogie Boogie Bash night as well as Halloween.

AND LOOK AT HOW IT CAME OUT!!!!

(photo credit: Disney Photopass)

(I legitimately had no idea that the Magic Key exclusive photo op was going to be Hercules themed, and almost cried when I saw it)

This may be the best thing I have made in a long time. I am SO back.

AND, because I can not and will not allow myself to make anything easy for myself, I designed and build the wings for the kids’ costumes.

Why?

• Well first of all, we needed specific colors because Pain and Panic are… not colors that I could just get pre-made costume wings in.

• Second, there’s a very specific shape that we were after, as well as keeping both the overall size and the wing size/child size proportions in line with the vision.

• Third, since these wings needed to last through Oogie Boogie Bash (which takes place inside the theme park) AND at least one round of trick-or-treating (actually we went to a community trunk-or-treat event immediately after I finished them… the point is my kids’ Halloween costumes get some MILEAGE put on them), they needed to be sturdy enough to handle some wear and tear.

• And finally, the wings needed to be comfortable AND stay in place AND have the right amount of movement.

• But mainly I think it all boils down to a refusal to let anything be easy or straightforward.

Now I am happy to announce that these wings were a success on all fronts, and I took the time to document the process because these were so simple (only a few pieces and basic sewing machine skills), affordable (all of the materials for both pairs with plenty left over, plus some extra unrelated items came out to around $30 at Joann’s), and WAY more versatile than just this specific niche DisneyBound/Cosplay concept.

This same tutorial can be easily adapted to bat or devil wings just by changing the color, and if you got creative with the shapes, become bird, butterfly, or angel wings without adjusting the construction AT ALL.

Before we get started, here’s a quick rundown of the materials I used:

• Extra-stiff Interfacing I bought a full yard because I needed two sets of wings and did not trust myself to get it right the first time (I am happy to announce that I did! And now I have a LOT of interfacing left that I’m not sure what to do with), so I think a more realistic quantity is about 1/3 yard per pair.

• Fleece Fabric Literally I just got the cheapest “craft fleece” because these wings aren’t getting any significant wear and tear and they definitely aren’t going through the wash. But also, you could use felt if that’s more accessible for you. Again I got a full yard of each color because I didn't know how many attempts would need to be made, but 1/3 yard per pair is PLENTY, because unlike the interfacing which is one single, 22” wide layer, the fleece fabric is 60” wide.

• Wide Elastic Ok so this isn’t the exact elastic I bought because I picked some from the by-the-yard section, but this is the closest I can find online. Most kids’ sizes are going to use around a yard (maybe a little more for older kids), for reference my kids’ two sets of wings used the 2.5 yards of elastic I bought EXACTLY.

• Matching Thread Or, if you prefer, contrasting thread. There really aren’t any rules here (I used black thread throughout because I’m too lazy to change thread colors), but you DO need thread.

• Pins You’ll be able to see in the step-by-step photos that I did NOT exclusively use my favorite kind of sewing pins (glass head pins that won’t melt if you iron over them), but I just thought now would be a good time to mention that glass head pins are my absolute favorite kind.

• Scissors and Fabric shears For the love of all that is good and holy THESE ARE NOT THE SAME THING.

• A Seam Ripper I would hope that you don’t have need of one but it is nice to have one on hand should the need arise, and definitely spend the money on a more ergonomic one because the flat ones that come in sewing kits are awful

• Thread Snips I like using these to trim threads at the end rather than scissors? But scissors also work.

• Pilot Frixion Gel Pen These are my favorite pens for marking on fabric because they erase COMPLETELY with a warm iron. However, an air soluble pen can work equally as well.

• Ruler this specific size will be super helpful if you decide to make the tail.

• Seam Gauge (optional) This is extremely optional for exactly one step but there’s a link in case you need one.

• Paper or Cardstock I don’t really think you need a link for paper but you do need paper to draw your pattern pieces on and I didn’t like having all of the supplies as blue links except for the last one.

(note: I did use affiliate links wherever I could with the materials list, because those clicks and commissions are something that helps me to keep my bills paid as a full time self employed artist, you are by no means under any obligation to use them, and in the case of this tutorial, specific brands DO NOT MATTER, so if you already have something on hand, feel free to use that. That being said, if you have the time to even click the links and then not buy anything, that helps)

Ok, are you ready to get started? Let’s go!

Step One: Draw the desired wing shape that you want on a sheet of printer paper (this was just a little bit smaller than the paper, about 10 inches across at the widest point and 7 inches tall at the tallest point). The exact size and shape is up to you and your needs/preferences, and the only thing that’s important is that you extend the end that attaches to the center about 2” further than you want the wings themselves to go)

Step Two: Trace TWO of your wing shapes onto your interfacing

Step Three: Cut them out using your normal scissors because REMEMBER YOUR FABRIC SHEARS ARE ONLY FOR FABRIC (jk I actually don’t know if it’s bad to cut interfacing with fabric shears)

Step Four: Lay your interfacing pieces onto your fabric and trace around them with about a 1/4 inch margin all the way around. You can use a seam gauge to do this if you want to be really precise, but you really don’t have to. Cut out FOUR wings from your fabric. Also cut two rectangles that are about 5 inches wide by 6 inches tall and set those aside for step twelve.

Step five: For each wing, you’re going to need to make a sandwich that breaks all of the rules of sewing. Right side/wrong side doesn’t matter on most fleece and felt fabrics but in case you did something different, each stack is going to look like this:

• first layer fabric wrong side UP

• second layer Interfacing, centered in your fabric with an equal margin all the way around

• third layer fabric wrong side DOWN directly on top of the other fabric, matching the edges exactly

(note: I used the same fabric for both sides so this doesn’t matter, but IF YOU DID make sure that your two wings are mirror images of each other and not identical!)

Anyway the stack should look like this:

Step six: Pin the stack securely all the way around, paying special attention to any sharp points

Step Seven: Sew all the way around the edges of the wing shape, very close to the edge of the fabric, so that the interfacing is caught in between the two layers of fabric.

Step eight: Using tailors chalk, an air-soluble pen, or a Pilot Frixion gel pen, mark any details lines on the WRONG side of your wings (if your wings are only one color like mine, then this is a time to pay close attention to making sure your wings are mirror images of each other.

Step nine: Sew over those lines with a straight stitch (if your markings need to be ironed off, do that now)

Step ten: Measure and cut your elastic by laying it snugly (but not stretched out) on your child wrapping from the top of their shoulder blade to the bottom of their shoulder blade, wrapping around the front of their body. Then cut two pieces of elastic that match this measurement.

Step eleven: This part is hard to explain, but bear with me please. Take each piece of elastic and match the corners of the ends at a right angle, being very careful not to twist the elastic, and to make sure that you have two kind of teardrop shaped loops (if your elastic has a right and wrong side this is another time to make sure that your two loops are mirror images of each other). Pin the ends together to form a sqare where they overlap). Then sew all the way around these squares with a three-step zigzag stitch.

After you sew them they should look like this:

Step Twelve: So far we’ve been making our individual parts, and now we are going to put them together into a functional set of wings. Now we’re going to take one of those extra rectangles and fold it thusly with the two wing pieces pinned on top. I don’t know what the words to explain this would be, but with the long sides as the vertical sides, fold both edges inward towards the center. I don’t know if that makes sense so here is a picture to show what I mean by thusly.

Step thirteen: sew a straight line down both edges close to the fold on the VERTICAL edges (note: this is kid of a bulky seam and its totally ok if its a little wonky, just as long as its secure). now the wings are attached.

Step Fourteen: now we’re going to do a similar process to attach the elastic loops to each other. Start by folding the second extra rectangle of fabric in the same way as we did for the wings, and then pin the elastic loops to it thusly. Again, I’m not sure if explainig it in words is clearer but basically turn those squares of sewn-down corners so that they are pointing to the center of the fabric rectagle, so that the inside corner of the loop is aligned with the edge of the fabric. Again, a photo to demonstrate what I mean by thusly: and then sew the vertical edges down in the same way as the wings.

Step fifteen: To recap, now we have wings that are attached to each other, and elastic arm loops that are attached to each other. Now we are going to attach the two sets to each other. This is another one where I really hope the photo clarifies it more than my explanation, but what you’re going to do is fold the top edge of each connecting rectangle down about 1/2 inch and then pinning them together, with all of the wrong sides sandwiched together in the middle. Again, thusly:

Step fifteen continued: laid flat, the pinned edges should look like this, no raw edges.

Step Seventeen: Sew across this top edge. Again, this may be hard for your machine to sew neatly because of how bulky it is. That’s ok do your best. We’re almost done. I believe in you.

Step Eighteen: Repeat the same fold-and-pin process on the bottom edge of the joining rectangles.

Step Nineteen: Sew the bottom edge in the same way as the the top edge.

AND THATS IT!!! YOU’RE READY TO PARTY!!! OR TRICK OR TREAT!!!! OR WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU NEEDED WINGS FOR!!!

Special thanks to my kids for so graciously modeling the finished wings for me)

“But what about the tails???” you say. “What about the horns????”

Well I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I have a bonus mini-tutorial for the tails!!! And you don’t even need any additional materials!!!

Step one: cut a pointy triangle shape from your leftover interfacing

Step two: In the same way we did for the wings, trace about 1/4 inch around your interfacing onto your fabric, and cut out two of those shapes.

Step Three: Layer the fabric and interfacing in the same way as we did with the wings, then pin and sew, just like we did with the wings (do you see a theme here…)

Step four: cut a strip of fabric that measures two inches wide by eighteen inches long (I’m going to be honest that I just traced around my clear ruler).

Step five: fold the strip lengthwise, pin and sew with a 1/4 inch seam allowance leaving both ends open. Attach a safety pin to one end to turn the tube right side out.

Step six: use the safety pin to turn the tube right side out.

Step Seven: Pin the tail tip to one end of the tube

Step eight: sew the tail tip and the tail together, backtacking multiple times to ensure it’s secure.

Step nine: use a safety pin to secure the tail to the waistband of whatever garments will make up the rest of the costume.

And there you have it! the perfect set of bat/demon/dragon/devil wings (and a coordinating tail, if you need one).

Here’s a final shot of the full family DisneyBound:

Outfit Details:

• Hades (me, left) - SilverSaga Patterns Ella Dress made from a thrifted bedsheet, accented with a drape of swimsuit mesh fabric from my stash secured with a vintage scorpion brooch. Sandals from Savopoulos on Etsy, old jewelry I already had, and sunglasses from Zenni Optical (this style seems to be gone but there are lots of similar ones and this is my favorite place for glasses!).

• Pain (Benedict, center) - Sweatsuit from Amazon, Accessories from this tutorial, and sneakers from Old Navy (old)

• Panic (Alice, left) - Dress from Mightly, tights from Amazon, Accessories from this tutorial, and boots from Blowfish.

“But Victoria,” you say, “Your kids are clearly wearing headbands that you made, where is the tutorial for those so that we can complete the look???”

And to that I say, I made up the construction of the horned headbands so on-the-fly that I wasn’t sure that I would be able to write an accurate tutorial. By that point in the project I was running on pure vibes and…

I may be back with a part two if I can replicate the success of the first try.

Let’s not push our luck after getting this tutorial live a whole five days before Halloween.

Crystals for Libra

Hello, October, Hello Libra New Moon!!! Do you know what that means??? It means that it is MY BIRTHDAY!!! (and also, we are having an eclipse…)

Ok my birthday is officially only on October 11, BUT I observe my birthday for the entire month/all of Libra season if I’m being honest.

Because as the most perfect sign of the entire zodiac (representing justice, beauty, and truth), that has exactly no flaws of any kind, Libras deserve to be celebrated for as long as possible. Including, if not especially, me personally.

(I jest, somewhat)

And OF COURSE as we enter the most beautiful time of the year, we are returning to our (ok my) favorite new moon tradition: the release of my Journaling Prompts for Libra Season download, and my blog post about my top crystal picks for Libra Season.

For any that are new here (maybe you came across this blog post directly from Google or Pinterest rather than having followed the whole series): I’ve been releasing a set of journaling prompts for each season in the Zodiac, and, as a little companion, I’m also writing a quick guide to the crystals I chose for each sign in my Zodiac jewelry collection. If you found yourself here and are want to read about the other signs, I’ve already gone through Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, and Virgo.

Journaling Prompts for Libra Season - PDF Download

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I really should have written this series back in the 2020-2021 astrological year, when I spent each season researching the strengths and challenges of each sign, to curate a collection of five stones that I thought would best support people with placements in that sign, but now is the second best time. While my initial focus was to research crystals to support people with PLACEMENTS in each sign, I’ve learned over the years that these stones can also bring some support to all of us through that sign’s season.

I say “us” like this incudes me but in this specific case, it doesn’t because as a Libra Sun, Mercury, AND Mars, these are my personal, all the time crystals. But for everyone else, these are the stones that I’ve picked for Libra Season.

Morganite

The iconic symbol of Libra is the scales of justice, this is literally what the constellation that marks the season depicts. In Libra placements, this often shows up as a strong commitment to our principles. It’s not just crucial for us to do what we KNOW is right at all times, but we are also fiercely loyal. To our friends and loved ones, to our values, and to the fact that we KNOW that we are right. Libras are known for being thoughtful, generous social butterflies, and morganite’s gentle, loving energy is supportive in ALL of these areas. It’s a stone that helps us keep our hearts open to receiving love from others just as much as we pour it out, so that our friendships and partnerships are balanced and equitable (things that Libras obviously love). Fun (and totally unrelated) fact: Morganite is named after J.P. Morgan (yes, the banker), who was… apparently really into witchy shit? The more you know, I guess.

Blue Lace Agate

If there’s one thing we Libras love, it’s balance. Again, this goes right back to that imagery of scales. But sometimes, the pursuit of FINDING that balance can lead to an emotional state that is very… not balanced. Libra season can be a great time to re-examine our lives and seek to address any areas that we’ve noticed are weighing us down, but that can become its own kind of disruption. Blue Lace Agate helps us to slow our racing thoughts, so that we can find the clarity we need to actually do what we need to do. It’s a very soothing stone, and helps with supporting trustworthy communication (look as a Libra I KNOW how much we love a bit of juicy gossip but also how often do we get ourselves in trouble for running out mouths). And I mean, the wispy pale blue patterns just make Blue Lace Agate LOOK like the perfect stone for an air sign.

Labradorite

If there’s one challenge that comes with the Libra’s pursuit of beauty and balance, it can be a tendency towards losing focus. Now, Libras love a moment to create something beautiful, and we especially love to transform a mess into a masterpiece. We are very in tune with our ideals, but sometimes that can push us into the territory of… not being very practical. Or giving up too easily. Or being easily swayed into doing something completely different than what we set out to do. Labradorite may be a darker, heavier stone that we wouldn’t automatically assume screams “LIBRA,” but it is definitely a stone that I really feel supports a lot of the areas that can easily become sources of struggle for Libra placements. Labradorite is a protective stone that helps us to stay grounded and focused through difficult times, and supports our creativity through transformational phases of our lives, often creating beauty through times of darkness. And even though this was NOT AT ALL something I was thinking about when I designed the original zodiac collections, if I were to pick THE stone for this eclipse in Libra, it would be Labradorite.

Aquamarine

The energy of Libra is always seeking the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Unfortunately, sometimes this comes into conflict with the people pleasing tendencies that can develop due to being the most charismatic social butterfly of the Zodiac. In our attempts to be everybody’s favorite (because we are), we might find ourselves biting our tongues, holding back things that we really think we need to say, or hiding bits of ourselves that we fear might rock the boat. This is where Aquamarine really comes in to save the day: Aquamarine is a stone of truth AND courage. She helps us to bravely say the things that need to be said, rather than shrinking back so that we can remain “likable,” while also soothing any anger that might get in the way of clearly communicating what needs to be said, in a way that is not going to lose us any friends.

Moonstone

I’m not going to pretend that Libras have not at least somewhat earned their reputation for being judgmental. That is, unfortunately, the shadow side that’s going to come with being both highly intuitive and deeply committed to doing the right thing. Moonstone is the perfect stone for supporting this strength (the intuition and integrity), while also protecting from the dangers (arrogance, superiority), because while yes it is a stone associated with finding success through following your intuition, it does so in a compassionate, nurturing way. It’s a very maternal energy, one that wants what’s best for everyone. Moonstone is a stone of inner growth, and maybe, one of the harder lessons it helps us with is the journey from judging others who aren’t living up to our ideals, to having empathy for those in all stages of their own journeys. And of course, as a Libra I absolutely hate that I just typed that sentence and now I have to follow my own damn advice.

So there we are, with the most ethereal, glowy, sparkling-from-within crystals that I selected for Libra plaements back in 2020 (wow remember how we thought the world couldn’t get any crazier back then?), which, because life is funny that way, is also a great collection for any of us to use to support us through Libra Season.

CRYSTALS FOR LIBRA

from $30.00

As a reminder, you can shop the Crystals for Libra jewelry collection right here, and if you’re looking for a quick self-care moment (v appropriate for Libra season), the Journaling Prompts for Libra Season are right here.

As always, thank you for joining in one of my favorite monthly check-ins, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

See you soon for Scorpio Season!

Going back to your house // Back from the dead (sorry I left you hanging for like six years about those shirts I did for The Matches, but here's what happened after that)

There’s probably a very small (if it exists at all) subset of my audience that read this blog post about my handmade, limited edition merch collaboration with The Matches and were like.. um what happened with that? The announcement was made and then… what??? What happened next???

The short answer is: I got divorced.

Not really because of the shirts.

But… definitely not not because of The Matches.

It’s been quite a few years now of wanting to share more of the story of what happened as a direct result of the 2014 tour that The Matches did to celebrate the tenth anniversary of their first album, E. von Dahl Killed the Locals. But every time I think it’s time to finally put it into writing, something else happens and the entire narrative has even more layers and subplots and becomes even more difficult to summarize into a single blog post. Or even, a coherent series.

It will eventually, probably, someday, become an entire book (there’s a chapter outline saved on my laptop waiting for me to not be afraid of querying such a personal story). I’ve reached the point where I don’t think that this story will ever be over.

But today, I sit at my computer, in exactly the same spot I was (metaphorically speaking, I don’t actually remember where I was physically) when my (now) ex husband (we were very much still married at the time of the previous blog post) texted me that he was going to file for divorce.

TEXTED ME.

THAT HE WAS GOING TO FILE FOR DIVORCE.

TWO DAYS AFTER WHAT WAS LITERALLY THE MOST FUN AND EXCITING MINI TRIP TO GO CELEBRATE MY FIRST EVER PAID ART JOB AND THE END OF AN ERA WITH ALL OF MY INTERNET FRIENDS.

THAT I TOOK HIM ON AND PAID FOR WITH MONEY THAT I’D EARNED THROUGH SAID ART JOB.

AND HE TEXTED ME TWO DAYS LATER THAT HE WAS GOING TO FILE FOR DIVORCE.

(sidenote: this blog post is not about my marriage as a whole, and there is obviously a considerable amount of context that is missing for brevity’s sake, but what I do need you to know before we continue, is that the entire relationship was rife with abuse, isolation, and manipulation, which helps to give some explanation as to why, what seem like such small instances of kindness from strangers that occurred between 2014 and 2018, were 1. so significant to me, personally, and 2. directly resulted in the end of my marriage and the paths I took after that. I am self-aware enough to know that to someone who has not lived the life I have, these stories seem inconsequential, and I seem to be making a big deal about nothing, so I do need to make this clarification. Also, no I will not be detailing incidences of abuse to “prove” anything to anyone, if you think that you need to hear “both sides” of the story to decide if you believe me or not you need to leave RIGHT NOW and never come back, and if ANY of this sounds familiar to you in your current relationship dynamics please call the national domestic violence hotline you deserve so much more and there are so many services and organizations that can help you start a new life in safety)

AGAIN, TEXTED ME.

HIS WIFE OF SEVEN YEARS AND MOTHER OF HIS TWO CHILDREN WHO STOOD BY HIM THROUGH SEVEN YEARS OF POVERTY, HEALTH CRISES, QUESTIONABLE FIDELITY, AND PRETTY MUCH EVERY KIND OF ABUSE.

THAT HE WAS GOING TO FILE FOR DIVORCE BECAUSE ONE SINGLE DAY OF OUR ENTIRE MARRIAGE COULDN’T BE MADE ABOUT HIM.

Ok I’m going to stop yelling now and explain what I mean by “in exactly the same place” because, I didn’t really explain that, did I?

Well, where I am right now (again figuratively not literally), is two days post seeing a Matches’ reunion show at The Fillmore in San Fransisco, where I had an absolutely delightful time seeing one of my favorite bands and catching up with so many (now long term) long distance friends that I met through The Matches (I did not have a custom merch collaboration this time, but we’re still counting this as being back in the same place). A little sore, a lot tired, and so, so happy to have gotten to have that experience.

Only now, I’m not just so, so happy to have had that experience once.

I’m so, so happy to have had that experience, survived not only the immediate aftermath but what can only be described as a six year long baptism by fire that has only somewhat recently begun to subside, and made it all the way back around to complete the circle as someone reborn from the ashes with an entirely new life, and have the experience again, only this time, it was good. It was so, so good.

From here, it’s… it’s dare I say… almost… funny that, if you zoom out far enough, my abusive ex husband was so threatened on an existential level from one (married) frontman of a (not famous and not currently touring/releasing music) pop punk band was nice (in 100% completely wholesome ways only) to his wife and hired her for one (one!!!) small (under $1k total profit) art job that she did in addition to her responsibilities as a DEDICATED wife and mother.

But obviously, IT WAS VERY MUCH NOT FUNNY AT THE TIME.

So where had we left off?

The shirts! I had spent months sourcing vintage sweaters and button up shirts, embroidering them with my designs, preparing the shirts for sale, AND, the part that I didn’t tell anyone at the time, being screamed at on the regular because of how stupid it was that I was “making overpriced t-shirts for my high school crush” instead of whatever the hell it was my ex husband wanted me to be doing (which, I want to add, was clearly not spending time with him because at this point he was basically never home and barely participated in family activities), and as a result, wondering every day if I should text Shawn that I give up and can’t do the shirts anymore.

But, like a dumbass (or an idealist, depending on how you look at it), I not only finished the shirts, but used my money, from the separate business bank account that Etsy sales went into (this is another THING that I don’t have space to go into here) to take him with me to go see the show and celebrate the culmination of this project and the tour.

I booked the trip, we flew up for the day, and for the record I had a great time and it was everything I could have wanted. We even met up with some of my new internet friends before the show!

The show was great, my shirts either completely sold out or almost sold out, EVERYONE was complementing them/me and when we hung around outside the venue so I could see the guys from the band and get a picture with them, and the whole time people were asking me how I was doing and all I could get out was “this is just surreal.”

In retrospect, yes, my ex was making rude remarks through the entire thing, but I was able to brush them off as just, he’s not a nice person, its fine. But THAT WASN’T GOING TO TAKE AWAY FROM THIS MOMENT WHERE I FINALLY FOR ONE TIME EVER GOT A TIME TO SHINE.

And then, two days later, the aforementioned text message.

And I think… I think there was a big part of me that thought this was the end of the story.

I didn’t want my marriage to end, so I did do everything I could to make myself small, not rock the boat, and not let the embroideries cause any more problems.

This lasted… a few weeks, until I got, yet another once-in-a-lifetime, living-out-my-teenage-dreams opportunities: flying out to Minneapolis to go see Justin Pierre (from Motion City Soundtrack) play a solo show, and have breakfast with him at his house the next day, because, and I am not making this up, my gynecoligist’s niece, who I only knew online because we followed each others blogs for a bit and had. never met in real life, moved from LA to Minneapolis, and JUSTIN PIERRE WAS HER NEIGHBOR.

(This is another thing that, yes, there is a lot more to it but again, now is not the time or place for it, but what you need to know is that my ex husband was pissed and I went anyway and it was lovely and 100% worth the consequences when I got home)

And again, an even bigger part of me wanted this to be the end of the story, that the embroideries were just a fun little detour, a glimmer of joy in an overwhelmingly depressed and isolated life as I tried my best to hide the abuse and keep going while, by this point, raising my kids entirely alone in every meaningful way while being regularly screamed at over these small things that I have going on that he can’t make revolve around him (again, all of the context for this does not fit into nor is it appropriate for a blog post).

To catch you up on this timeline: I made and posted my first embroidery hoop in August of 2016, launched the Etsy shop in… the fall of 2016(?), was initially asked by The Matches to work on the shirt collaboration in the fall of 2017, for the tour that would happen in summer 2018. The trip to Minneapolis was in November 2018. At the time, it didn’t seem like these events were that close together. But, in retrospect, wow that was so much in so short of a time.

And I finally left him for good in May 2019.

There is far too much that has happened between then and now to include it all in one blog post. BUT.

The first two people to reach out after I publicly announced the split? Shawn (from The Matches) and Pablo (their manager). The first people to rush to support the jewelry business I started in the aftermath of my divorce (the one that that literally supports my family to this day)? Instagram friends I met through The Matches. The literal, actual last thing I did before the pandemic changed everything? A screening of Bleeding Audio, the documentary about The Matches.

As you can see, there has been a recurring theme here.

Getting out of that situation and the long, drawn out recovery process would have been an entirely different experience without everything/everyone that was in my life because of The Matches.

(Sidenote: What a follow-up to that blog post announcing the embroidered shirts, right? Was it worth the wait? I know it’s not the sequel I was expecting to write!!!)

And now, to bring things back to the present day:

This weekend I was back in San Fransisco, to see The Matches at The Fillmore (this time with my cousin).

Which yes, is the nicest, tidiest full circle moment that we could possibly have in regards to everything that happened as a direct result of… the last time I went to San Fransisco to see The Matches at the Fillmore. It was also the best time (once again all thanks to Pablo for taking care of us, like he always has, for ten whole years now).

But there was another kind of full circle moment: once again, coming back from the dead.

The second half of 2023 was, effectively, a speedrun of every bad thing that could possibly happen to a single mom in an already precarious situation that I have christened the “cavalcade of Crises” to try and diffuse the trauma a little bit (this is yet another thing that we do not have time to go into in a blog post). While things were absolutely not the same as they were in 2013, there were echos. I did not like this. And of course, it’s as this is finally calming down that The Matches announce a 20th anniversary show, giving me something to finally look forward to, a familiar glimmer of hope amidst a sea of burnout.

While for me, seeing The Matches at the Fillmore is not a homecoming in the geographic sense that it was for the Bay Area kids that had grown up alongside the band, this show was definitely the reminder I needed of how far I’ve really come in these ten years. Since that first show. Because of that first show.

For ten whole years now, Matches shows have been a safe space, where people are nice to me.

For a lot of those ten years, Matches shows were the only safe place where people were nice to me.

Those parts of the story that I’d hoped were the end? Those were the times where I believed that those nice things people said weren’t things that were true or that I deserved to hear, and it’s taken a decade of therapy to realize that… all of those good things people at Matches shows see in me and say nice things about? Those are real, those are me.

So I’m glad the story didn’t end at any of those times, and have accepted that it’s probably only going to get longer and weirder (again… this will need to be a book to fit the whole thing).

Crystals for Virgo

Hello friends, I hope that that new Moon in Virgo has been kind to you.

I know that Virgos can kind of get a bad rap for being a little TOO structured, as a Libra… Virgo season is a RELIEF. It’s an invitation to get my head out of the clouds, come back to earth, and start getting things DONE. Maybe some of them are getting done a little bit behind schedule (ahem… I DID put all the dates for these blog posts in one calendar but not my main one), but they ARE getting done. And that’s what matters.

SO, today we are going through our monthly breakdown of the collections of stones that I chose for each sign in my Zodiac Collection, which, for those that are new here, is a collection of necklaces and hoop earrings handmade with a collection of five natural stones that I curated specifically to best support each sign’s natural strengths and challenges.

So far we’ve covered Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, and Leo, and now we’re coming up to the halfway point with my crystal picks for Virgo.

Some quick clarification: I initially designed this collection over the 2020-2021 astrological year focusing on each sign through the lens of which crystals would best support people with major PLACEMENTS in those signs (for those wondering which jewelry pieces they should purchase for themselves, I’d say the best place to start is your own Sun, Moon, or Rising sign), HOWEVER, as my knowledge and experience have grown, I now realize that these little collections of stones make a great starting point for any of us looking to bring a little crystal magic into each season.

And to build on this, I’ve also been releasing a downloadable journaling guide for each zodiac season as well.

Journaling Prompts for Virgo Season

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So are you ready to dive into the Crystals for Virgo Season?

Blue Apatite

What is the number one thing that we love about Virgos? Their ability to just GET THINGS DONE, obviously. And something about Virgo season also being back-to-school season for a lot of us just makes sense. It’s such a SHIFT in energy, from summer relaxation to the hustle and bustle of fall. And honestly, I can’t think of a better stone for this time of year than Blue Apatite. Blue Apatite is the stone for getting things done. It is the aggressively high-vibe stone that helps us clear out distractions and focus our energy EXACTLY where it needs to be. Blue Apatite doesn’t just have a checklist, she has a color-coded spreadsheet with detailed plans of not just what needs to be done but exactly the best way to get it done and no, she will not be taking any clarifying questions. Also, somehow like half of the tasks are already done. She’s the best friend of people who are already like this and a forceful supporter for those of us (ahem, me) who just aren’t but desperately want to be.

Amethyst

As much as we all know what we love about Virgos (the aforementioned gift at getting things done), we also know that there is definitely a such thing as too much of a good thing. And for both Virgo placements and Virgo season, that is absolutely the point where the color coded spreadsheet of exciting things to do and the sweet smell of fresh school supplies becomes an overwhelming rush of demands and a chaotic calendar that somehow neglected to factor in that human beings can only be in one place at a time. Amethyst is the number one stone that I’d pick to bring us some balance here. Virgo season is a time to reflect on wisdom, making good choices now to prepare for the amazing things that are coming next, and Amethyst is all about intuition and clear-headed decision making. She can help us calm down our racing thoughts so that we can focus our energy where it will be most effective, and give us peace of mind when things get crazy (or somebody isn’t following our VERY CLEAR instructions).

Clear Quartz

Clear Quartz is, in a lot of ways, our true all-purpose, for everyone, in every situation, every day crystal. It doesn’t matter what the energy is, Clear Quartz is going to give it a boost. And I love this for Virgo season because this season can be a lot. The transition from summer to fall. The transition into the school year after weeks and weeks on break. The horrifying realization the holidays are coming and they’re coming soon and oh no what have I even done with this year it’s almost 3/4 over!!! (ok maybe that one is just me). But REGARDLESS, Clear Quartz is here to give us the clarity to know what kind of energy we need and the little push to stick to those goals. It’s a very positive, uplifting stone, and sometimes that’s the thing we need the most as the temperatures dip and the sunsets get a little earlier.

Snowflake Obsidian

Snowflake Obsidian is a very practical stone, much in the way that Virgo placements tend to be very practical people and Virgo season often asks us to take a practical look at what’s going on in our lives and make any needed changes. So she was an absolute non-negotiable for Virgo season. She’s a stone that helps a lot with keeping ourselves grounded when we’re being pulled in a million different directions, and helps us stay focused when we need to get things done. Snowflake Obsidian is the stone we want when we need to stay firmly rooted in reality as we plan out our next steps, so that we can set ourselves up for the best chance of success. Because Virgo season is a time for wise, intentional planning, not throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks.

Malachite

Finally, we’re rounding out the collection with Malachite. Remember that thing I just said about being prepared for what’s next? Malachite is the stone for the what’s next, whatever that may look like. She’s here to help our practical preparations grow into massive successes by helping us clear out the mental and emotional obstacles between us and what we’re working towards. Malachite is a stone of good luck too, but not the random, fell-out-of-the-sky kind of good luck, the good luck that comes from being in the right place at the right time because you are ON IT in that way that the only possible outcome is things working out just the way that you meant them to. Because, honestly, any Virgo is going to agree that the rest of us should have just listened to them in the first place.

CRYSTALS FOR VIRGO

from $30.00

SO! Whether you’re looking to spend this belated Virgo New Moon doing some journaling, working with some crystals, or treating yourself to some Virgo-themed jewelry, I hope that you enjoy yourself. And get out the color coding pens.

Thank you for coming along for this ride, this has truly been one of my favorite projects for this year!

Crystals for Leo

Hello there and happy New Moon in Leo!!!

Leo season tends to be where the year starts getting really good for me (I recently learned this is because I have a Leo Midheaven, which means that Leo energy is where I find confidence and success, which makes as much sense as it does make me uncomfortable), and I’m really excited about this new cycle ahead of us.

Last Leo season (actually right ON the Leo New Moon!) I began the process of filing for sole custody of my kids, and while yes that was a huge part of what was probably the worst and hardest six months of my life, it was truly the beginning of a new season: a season where I can confidently live a life that’s in alignment with my values. I’m not going to lie, at the time I would not have said that I was “ushering in a new season of alignment and abundance”, but… as we complete the cycle and come back to the Leo New Moon… yeah, that’s exactly what it was.

Anyway, I am not here to talk about the absolute dumpster fire that my life was this time last year, or everything that went into getting me to where I am right now (although that may be a topic for a future blog post once I can get back into the routine of writing more regularly), I am here to give you the next installment in my “crystals for each zodiac sign” series.

Obviously, today’s post is going to be about the crystals for Leo season (and/or Leo placements!), but if you are new to the series, here’s the short version of what we’re doing here and why:

Over the course of the 2020-2021 zodiac year, I released a jewelry collection for each sign, each made up of five stones that I carefully researched and selected as the best supports for that sign to enhance their strengths and help alleviate their challenges. I’m very proud of the jewelry collection. However, I never really made content about the stones I chose for each sign and why.

That’s what we’re here for today. And if you’re interested in catching up with the rest of the zodiac year so far, you can also read the posts for Aries, Taurus, Gemini, and Cancer by clicking their respective links.

We’re also here today so that I can announce that the Journaling Prompts for Leo Season PDF Download is also live, should you desire some helpful journaling prompts for this New Moon.

Journaling Prompts for Leo Season

$5.55

Now, lets get to those Leo Season Crystals:

Tiger’s Eye

Leo is the lion of the zodiac and so OF COURSE I can’t make a Crystals for Leo jewelry collection/blog post without Tiger’s Eye. First of all because there’s no crystal with the word “lion” in the name and “tiger” is about as close as we’re going to get, and also because Tiger’s Eye is a stone that just embodies everything we love about Leo placements: Unshakeable confidence, unstoppable willpower, and protective of the people and things that they love. One thing that I think we all love about Tiger’s Eye is how it is just so COMFORTABLE in the spotlight. Like have you ever seen a piece of Tiger’s Eye that you just couldn’t look away from? Yeah, that’s the vibe for Leo season (and a very uncomfortable exercise in personal growth for me, a person who would rather not ever be perceived, but that is an entirely different topic). This is the season for going after what we want, isn’t it?

Black Obsidian

As a Libra (sun, moon, and mercury), with a LOT of water placements elsewhere in my chart, one thing about Leo placements that I find very admirable and also kind of annoying is the way that their energy is just… not affected by everything going on around them. My brother in law is probably the Leo sun that I’ve spent the most time with and he is ALARMINGLY unshakeable. I feel like Leo season is a great time to bring that energy into our lives, so Black Obsidian was another obvious choice. This is because it literally acts as an energy shield. Bad energy just can’t even get to you if you’re wearing Black Obsidian. So if we can’t be naturally gifted with being effortlessly unbothered as we go about our daily lives like Leo placements do, Black Obsidian can offer us some support to get there eventually.

Red Jasper

Another thing about Leo is their ability to just DO what they know they need to do. There’s a cool levelheadedness when it comes to making decisions and solving problems that’s just so uniquely Leo. Now this is just my own personal observation, but it seems that with that legendary Leo confidence comes a distinct clarity in their intuition. Like it’s just never a question, they just know what they need to do next (or what you need to do next, if you’re going to a Leo for advice). Red Jasper is the stone I chose to either enhance those qualities in Leo placements, or to support the rest of us (ahem, me, again with all of those Libra placements) to do the same. Because what makes Red Jasper so special, is that it really calms down our racing thoughts and feelings so that we can focus and just get things done.

Hematite

With their legendary confidence, Leo carries the danger of erring into the territory of arrogance. Or, in their less healthy forms, egomania and even hubris. Hematite is the stone that I chose to help bring some grounding, to tone down the extremes so that we can really embrace the positive aspects of Leo energy. Yes, it is great to follow our top-notch intuition and get shit done like a badass, but ALSO we have to be careful not to girlboss too close to the sun. I don’t know about you, but that’s frequently my temptation anytime I start to lean into Leo energy, and Hematite is here to keep us safely on the ground, WHILE we make things happen. Because it’s all about balance, you know? The other thing besides grounding that we really love Hematite for.

Sunstone

And finally, to round out the collection, we have THE stone for Leo: Sunstone. Sunstone is part of the feldspar family of crystals, which means that it’s composed of many thin layers that reflect light in all different directions. This physical property is what gives Sunstone its unique, glowing-from-within luminosity. Just like, you know, the sun. Which rules Leo. As Leo placements are known for being very confident in the spotlight (can’t relate), I also love Sunstone for Leo Season, as a reminder to show up as the biggest, best, most authentic version of ourselves. Because that’s what Sunstone is all about. Confidence, yes. But confidence in who we truly are, and letting our unique, innate gifts shine out into the world around us.

I truly hope that you’ve enjoyed learning about the Crystals for Leo with me! Writing this series has been a wonderful follow-up to designing my original Zodiac Collection, and has been a wonderful companion to the new research that I’m doing as I create the Journaling Prompts for each zodiac season.

And yes, you can shop the Crystals for Leo collection right here:

CRYSTALS FOR LEO

from $30.00

Or treat yourself to the Journaling Prompts for Leo Season PDF Download right here.

Until next time!

Crystals for Cancer

Friends we have passed the Summer Solstice and THAT was a big shift (for me, at least) into a new, brighter, more energetic season (or idk maybe I just have the reverse of seasonal affective disorder and wasn’t coping well with the unusually thick June Gloom we’ve had this year), and now we have reached the Cancer New Moon and WOW everything just feels so nice. I mean I guess I’m biased towards Cancer season because my precious cherub of a son is a Cancer Sun, but ALSO this is just such a nice time to chill. Relaxation, introspection, going with the flow, quality time with our loved ones… all the things that Cancers love. And tbh it MAKES SENSE that this is when we take our summer vacations.

So once again, I’m back with my dive into the stones that I curated for my Crystals for Cancer jewelry collection. I still can’t believe that I didn’t do this when I first released my Zodiac collection over the 2020-2021 astrological year, but the second best thing I can do is to write them out now (you can catch up on the series with Aries, Taurus, and Gemini seasons too if you’d like).

But what’s new for this year, is that as I publish the blog posts (that I really should have done all those years ago), is that I’m launching a companion collection of guided journaling prompts for the astrological season.

You can grab your own Journaling Prompts for Cancer Season PDF download right here.

Journaling Prompts for Cancer Season - PDF Download

$5.55

And to reiterate, while I did originally create the Crystals for Cancer collection with Cancer placements in mind, I do really think these stones have a lot to offer all of us through Cancer season.

Are you ready?

Let’s dive in.

Amazonite

What’s the first thing we think about when we think of Cancer’s? Big feelings. Am I right or am I RIGHT? These big feelings are probably one of the most magical things about Cancer placements, and is not something that I would ever want to take away from them. That being said, sometimes the big feelings come out as hurtful words or impulsive actions. Amazonite is the perfect stone for helping us slow down and understand the feelings as valid, but allow them to settle down so that we can choose our actions in a thoughtful, level-headed, intentional way. It’s not a stone of burying or dismissing emotions, but allowing them to cool down so that we can clearly articulate them. Actually, my personal favorite thing about Amazonite is that it supports healthy communication, which tbh is the best thing to go with big feelings.

Amethyst

With all these big feelings, Cancer placements have another gift: an impeccable intuition. And for the rest of us, Cancer season usually involves an invitation to slow down and give ourselves a mid-year check in. Cancer season hits right as we all find ourselves asking things like: “How did the first half of the year go?”, “How do we want the second half to be different?”, and “What do we have to adjust to make that all happen?” Amethyst is the perfect stone to help us out here. Like Amazonite, it helps to tone down all of the big feelings and racing thoughts. But rather than supporting us with communicating those thoughts and feelings to others, Amethyst helps us internally: by helping us slow down and process all of that information, and thoughtfully move on to our next steps.

Labradorite

Labradorite is a stone that I personally love (actually it was one of the first stones I ever purchased for myself) because it is a stone that inspires creativity and also offers protection support through big changes and difficult circumstances. This is one that felt so perfect for Cancer placements because while these big feelings lend themselves to big moves, sometimes self-preservation gets in the way. Labradorite is a reminder to embrace change, and allows ourselves the vulnerability of creating a new path forward when things get difficult. Exactly like a crab when it’s time for it to molt. Which is why I also love it for Cancer season, when we all, in general, find ourselves re-evaluating where we are, and what we have to change in order for things to be the way that we’d like them to be.

Moonstone

Like the moon, the emotions of the Cancer wax and wane with the tides. Moonstone is a stone that represents rebirth, renewal, and success in our efforts. But not in an aggressive way (looking at you Malachite) or a lighthearted way (looking at you Citrine), but in a gentle, nurturing, motherly way. When I think of the Cancers in my life (my son, my sister, and some favorite friends), the thing I admire most is how supportive they are to their loved ones, how they really do genuinely want everyone to be happy and fulfilled in their lives. I love Moonstone for Cancer season because energetically, it is for all of us exactly what my favorite Cancer placements are in my life: pushing us all forward to grow into the best version of ourselves.

Rose Quartz

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from parenting a Cancer, it’s that Cancer’s don’t just adore self care (my son put a box of 48 bath bombs on the Amazon list for his 9th birthday and his exact words were “this is not excessive at all”), the need it. We all need it. We all love Rose Quartz because it is the embodiment of love in all of its forms, and I’ve learned to love it for this season where self care, caring for others, and finding the balance between the two. It’s easy for the summer months to become a season of just doing for the sake of not missing out (especially for those of us with kids!), and Rose Quartz invites us to pause and ask… “Is this really good for me to go this hard, or is there a better way for me to make sure that I’m taken care of while I’m looking out for everyone else?”

And for those that feel like indulging in some classic Cancer self-care, the Journaling Prompts for Cancer Season PDF is the perfect place to start. And you can shop the jewelry collection here.

CRYSTALS FOR CANCER

from $30.00

I feel like it goes without saying, that this series is one of my favorite recurring monthly check ins.

Thank you for being here with me.

See you next month.

Crystals for Gemini

Is it just me or has the energy been MOVING since we moved into Gemini Season?

Gemini is all about EXPANSION, inwardly and outwardly: meeting new people, trying new things, going new places, making new friends.

Even my burnt-out introvert self is feeling it.

As we’ve just had our Gemini New Moon, it’s time for what is very quickly becoming my very favorite monthly routine:

The launch of my Journaling Prompts for Gemini Season PDF Download, and the accompanying Crystals for Gemini Season blog post (this blog post).

Journaling Prompts for Gemini season

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As a quick recap, just incase you’re jumping in with this post, the purpose of this series is to give a more detailed background on the crystals that I chose for my Crystals for Gemini jewelry collection. If you want to catch up on the previous editions, you can read the posts for Aries Season here and the post for Taurus Season here.

Zoisite

There are many crystals associated with growth, but Zoisite is definitely my favorite, because it’s not just about growth in general, it’s about unlimited, exponential growth. Growth like you’ve never experienced before. Now I don’t know about you, but so far this Gemini Season I have been stretched like never before (and that’s really saying a lot). This is where a really special thing about Zoisite comes in handy: she often contains inclusions of Ruby, which we all love as a stone of confidence and vitality, just the things we need when we’re going through these periods of expansion and the inevitable growing pains that come with them. And I mean, what could possibly me more appropriate for Gemini Season than a stone that is two stones at the same time???

Dalmatian Jasper

What is a Gemini if not the ultimate social butterfly, the expert networker, and the host with the most? I think we can all agree that this is our favorite thing about Gemini (I may be a bit biased here because my family has a disproportionate amount of Geminis). Unfortunately, sometimes this comes with the… less positive stereotype of Gemini being… flaky? two-faced? Not even always in a malicious way just in a… social chameleon kind of way? This is was a big reason that I picked Dalmatian Jasper for the Crystals for Gemini collection: Dalmatian Jasper is a stone of friendship. Of true friendship. Dalmatian Jasper is here to support the humor and loyalty that creates a solid, lasting bond between friends.

Clear Quartz

Gemini season is a time when things get going fast. Honestly, now that I think about it it really makes sense that this is also the season of graduations and weddings and big life events (and in my family, basically EVERY PERSON’S BIRTHDAY). For Gemini placements, I’m going to assume this acceleration of activity feels natural, but that’s definitely not the case for all of us (ahem, me). And our good friend Clear Quartz is here for all of us. Clear quartz is kind of seen as the main, entry level crystal, and not in a dismissive way but in a, yeah actually this is the stone to start with because it is the stone EVERYONE needs. Why? Because it doesn’t matter what’s going on or what you need, Clear Quartz is there to support you by boosting the energy you NEED, whatever that may be.

Hematite

Ok so I feel like this one is going to need a little more explanation. Because I’m over here with Hematite (a dark, heavy stone that contains iron) as a stone that I hand-picked through careful research for Gemini (a mutable air sign). But hear me out, ok: speaking from experience as a fellow Air sign, and please bear in mind I say this with all of the love in my heart: SOMETIMES THE ENERGY IS JUST A LITTLE CHAOTIC. Hematite is a stone that’s all about peace and grounding and balance and stability, but in a very gentle way. I think Gemini season is quick to get out of control, and Hematite is the perfect stone to kind of… keep us a little closer to earth.

Blue Apatite

Look if there’s one thing about Geminis it’s that they have the gift of gab. This kind of circles back to that thing about how it’s really fitting that this is the season of big social engagements… So I thought it was important to round out the Gemini Season crystals with Blue Apatite, because maybe we can sometimes use a little support to make sure that all that social chatter isn’t just noise. Blue Apatite is the perfect stone for this: she’s a stone that supports clear communication, and, as an added bonus, she’s also a big energy boost to make sure we get the things we want to get done, done. And what’s a Gemini’s second most favorite thing besides doing a million things.

Gemini season really seems to be the time of the year where the pace seems to REALLY pick up (do not ask me how many commitments I have had pretty much every day lately or I will cry), which for some of us is thrilling and for some of us can feel more overwhelming.

When I initially put together my Crystals for Gemini jewelry collection in 2020, I was only thinking about crystals to help support Gemini placements, but over the past three-four years since I initially launched the collection, I realized, these are the stones we all need for Gemini Season.

CRYSTALS FOR GEMINI

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Crystals for Taurus

Officially speaking, this post is a day late.

But we’re not going to sit around and make excuses or explanations or justifications. We’re going to just keep on moving towards our goals. Because that’s Taurus season, baby.

If you were around for Aries season, then you know what I’m about to do here.

And if you weren't, this is what I’m about to do here:

As a companion for my Journaling Prompts for Taurus Season PDF Download (that was just released today), I’m going to give you a more thorough breakdown of my top crystal picks for Taurus season.

Journaling Prompts for Taurus Season - PDF Download

$5.55

I’m not going to lie: Taurus season has been a tough one for me to see the positives about because I spent quite a large number of years under the thumb of an extremely toxic Taurus (and then several more years still dealing with the mess he made/continues to make, which OBVIOUSLY is infuriating to me, a Libra).

But this isn’t about me, this is about you.

And maybe, a little bit about me getting absolutely wrecked (in a good way) about my traumatic experiences with Taurus placements and Taurus season, and finally coming around to really see and experience the beauty in this season in the lead up to yesterday’s Taurus New Moon.

So lets dive in, why don’t we?

Tiger’s Eye

If we were to all agree on one stereotypical trait of Taurus placements it would be the stubbornness. I’m sure we have all been on the receiving end of the “my way or the highway” mindset of a Taurus placement or had to watch them struggle through something they will not let go of because they won’t listen to the advice, experience, or expertise of others. But I think this is a really unfair perspective to take, because, when it’s applied in a healthy way, this may be Taurus’ greatest gift: the ability to persist through challenges and make what they know needs to happen a reality. If we think of Aries season as a fresh start, a time to plant the new seeds for the year ahead, then we can see Taurus season as the natural progression: a season to plow forward as we make those goals into a reality. Tiger’s Eye is just the crystal to support us in this, giving us strength, protection, and unstoppable drive.

Pyrite

Pyrite isn’t just “fools gold.” Pyrite is a stone about abundance, yes, but also protection, stability, and practicality. Which is about the most succinct way I can think of to describe the things that Taurus loves the most. Pyrite is here to help us attract that success that we are after (and being thoroughly supported with that Tiger’s Eye), yes, but ALSO, to keep us grounded and clearheaded as we keep pushing forward. Pyrite says, yes, we will succeed in our endeavors, but also, yes the the successes will be things we can depend on for the future.

Citrine

Look, this is just my own personal bias here, but I LOVE Citrine. Citrine is a stone of joy and abundance and success and creativity and positivity and is basically the crystal equivalent of a ray of perfect spring sunshine. Which, at least in the northern hemisphere, is exactly the thing that we love most about Taurus season in a practical, physical sense. And this literal sunshine serves a metaphysical role as well: these practical goals will QUICKLY become a drag and suck us down into tunnel vision if we don't temper that practicality with some levity. And Citrine is the perfect stone to keep things light and airy as we push forward and make big things happen.

Rhodonite

Taurus LOVES to be comfortable. Taurus craves safety, stability, predictability, luxury. When we take the time to really understand them, Taurus placement are far less the stereotypical bull in a china shop, and much more along the lines of Ferdinand the Bull resting under the cork tree, smelling the flowers and relaxing in his favorite safe place. Rhodonite is quite possibly the closest thing we can get to a safe place in crystal form. Rhodonite is a gentle hug and a comforting voice, reminding us to be compassionate to ourselves, when things don’t go as well as fast as we’d have wanted, and compassion to others, even those that don’t see the vision of what we’re working towards.

Lapis Lazuli

Bringing us back to the idea that Taurus season is the time for us to diligently work towards the intentions we set back in Aries season, Lapis Lazuli is the final stone for this selection. Lapis Lazuli is traditionally, a stone reserved for royalty (fun fact: for centuries pigment made from Lapis Lazuli was exclusively reserved for painting the robes of the Virgin Mary), that supports us in our endeavors by encouraging inner strength, decisiveness, clarity, and communication. Just the stone that we need as we take the lead this season.

Thus concludes my selection of crystals for Taurus season (and Taurus placements).

I hope that you’ve enjoyed learning about these stones with me, and if you have fallen in love with all of them and wish that you could have all of them at once, I have some great news for you: you can shop jewelry pieces with all five of these stones in my Crystals for Taurus Collection.

CRYSTALS FOR TAURUS

from $30.00

And if you’re looking for some guided journaling for this season, the Taurus Season Journaling Prompts are right here waiting for you.

This Mother's Day, make sure you're Moms's favorite (by giving her a custom birthstone necklace)

So, I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m the oldest of four siblings (that’s my own mom’s custom birthstone necklace as the “four birthstone” sample!). Four siblings with a wide age spread and a veritable potpourri of neurodivergences and trauma responses of both diagnosed and undiagnosed varieties. You might have some assumptions about what that means that I’m the oldest daughter of such a large and unruly brood.

Your assumptions would be wrong.

Despite VERY MUCH suffering from debilitating oldest-daughter syndrome (I get the honor of being the very first child/grandchild/niece on two very differently generationally traumatized ancestral lines!!!! This is very fun and not stressful at all!!!!), I am absolutely not the password child. Or the favorite. Or even the comic relief/mascot. My generational trauma archetype lies somewhere between scapegoat and glass child. I’m not angry or bitter about this, I’m just very self aware that I was born into an unfortunate combination of “raised by literal children, one of which was an addict, in a cult” and “even the adults back in those days didn’t know little girls could have autism I really don’t think having adult parents would have even helped also OF COURSE traumatized people end up in cults.”

Honestly if my therapist isn’t writing a book to capitalize on the unhinged-ness of my sessions I’m going to be very disappointed in her.

Now, the purpose of that lil trauma dump was to give you some background on why you need to listen to me about what I’m going to say: while I have never been successful at becoming mom’s favorite, because rather than being a reliable and impressive oldest daughter (because I am the sibling that always has a stupid emergency, my next youngest sister is the sibling that fixes emergencies), I DO know a lot about what moms like and don’t like.

Custom Birthstone Necklace (two stones)

from $30.00

My spicy brain has been watching my moms reactions as I miss the mark with gifts my entire life and then ANALYZING THAT DATA TO FIND THE PATTERNS. Also, I like to think I’ve picked up some valuable insight on what moms like through my tenure as being a mom myself.

For example:

• moms love gifts that are personalized and remind them of their kids (but not all moms like things with monograms or pictures so this one can be tricky)

• moms like things that are useful and not going to create clutter but ALSO are not reminding them of their role in domestic labor (unless a household appliance is SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR avoid this at all costs)

• moms like things that are for THEM not the benefit of the whole family at their expense (I’m looking at you, brunch with small children)

• and most importantly, moms want EFFORT and PLANNING, not last minute afterthought (trust me we can tell).

This can put a lot of us, especially the older we get and the more Mother’s days we’ve already gotten gifts for and thus want to avoid repeating, in a tough situation trying to find just the right thing.

Lucky for you, I have gotten good enough at SEO that the algorithm has heard your query for “customizable Mother’s Day gifts from small businesses” (I am very proud of you), because my custom birthstone necklaces are exactly the thing that meets every single one of those qualifications:

• It’s personalized, but in a subtle way.

• It’s pretty and functional, but not a tool for domestic labor.

• It’s literally just something nice for her and her alone.

• It’s from a small business and you had to order it early, showing how much you prioritized your Mother’s Day shopping.

• I have options for one, two, three, or four birthstones, AND the chain can be silver or gold.

Damn, this oldest daughter syndrome and atypical strength at recognizing abstract patterns is really coming in handy.

Now, if you are deciding to go this route for your mom (or your partner, or yourself) and you want this to make it in time for Mother’s Day gifting, there is something you need to keep in mind:

Custom Birthstone Necklace (three stones)

from $30.00

These necklaces are made-to-order and they do take time to ship. So in order to be SURE that your necklaces will arrive in time, please get them placed by Friday, May 3, 2024.

Before you order though (because I have convinced you that your mom needs a handmade birthstone necklace, haven’t I?), I want to give a couple more pro tips to solidify your spot for as Mom’s favorite:

• If you don’t have a chance to snoop through her jewelry, at least check some recent photos of your mom to make a note of which metal she prefers. My birthstone necklaces come in both solid .925 sterling silver AND 14k gold filled, and we want to make sure mom is getting a necklace she will WEAR.

• I CAN add a personalized note addressed to your mom if you’re having me ship the order directly to her, just shoot me an email with the necessary info and I will make it happen.

Now, go forth and do what I have never been able to accomplish, and stake your claim as the favorite child.

Custom Birthstone Necklace (Four Stones)

from $30.00

Crystals For Aries

Hello Friends, are we FEELING that Eclipse?????

Yes, that question could go in a lot of directions, BUT regardless of what, specifically you’re feeling:

Happy New Moon in Aries.

If you haven’t already heard about it from social media or my email newsletter, my Journaling Prompts for Aries Season PDF has just dropped (obviously, the first in a year-long series) and I am very excited about it. I hope that you do as well.

Journaling Prompts for Aries Season - PDF Download

$5.55

One thing about this PDF, (which will be consistent with all of the future releases, which, yes, will come out on each New Moon), is that it includes a short blurb with suggested crystals to use/work with this season.

Today, I want to take the time to explore them with a little more depth.

If you’re familiar with the jewelry in my Zodiac Collection, you already know that these crystals are Herkeimer Diamond, Garnet, Aquamarine, Red Jasper, and Hematite.

When I initially started designing my Zodiac jewelry collection, I spent an entire astrological year learning about each zodiac sign’s strengths and challenges and how they can be supported or balanced with crystal energies. It was an intense project, but produced what, at least in my opinion, is some of the most valuable work that I’ve done in my jewelry brand so far.

But one thing I really regret from that experience (which, I feel like is worth noting, was the 2020-2021 astrological year) is that I didn’t make any long-form informational content about WHY I chose these stones as I built out the collection.

So, as I’m rolling out my journaling prompt PDFs for THIS Astrological year, I will also take some time to revisit these crystals and why I chose them, for those with Aries placements or for those looking for support during Aries Season.

So without any further ado, let me introduce the Crystals for Aries Season:

Herkeimer Diamond

Fun fact: Herkeimer Diamonds are not, in fact, diamonds at all, but are quartz crystals that naturally grow in double-terminated (that is, diamond-shaped) points, named for the place they are most commonly found: Herkeimer, New York. Despite not being true diamonds, Herkeimer Diamonds ARE true energetic powerhouses, and make the perfect companion for Aries Season. Clear quartz is already an energy amplifier to begin with, and the naturally double-terminated shape means that energy flows both in AND out of the stones, meaning they are HERE TO GET THINGS DONE (does this sound familiar to any Aries placements out there?). Aries Season marks the beginning of a fresh, new Astrological year and Herkeimer Diamonds show up big time to help us refresh our energy as well.

Garnet

If there’s one thing that we love about an Aries, it is the CONFIDENCE. And Garnet is THE stone of confidence. Garnet is a stone of WARRIORS, of action, of protection, of commitment. Garnet, like Aries, is who you want on your team in a time of crisis, because they WILL find a way out, even if no one else can see it, and they WILL take the action that needs to be taken, even if no one else wants to do it. If you’ve ever held a piece of Garnet, you may have felt it’s intense and effervescent energy. This intensity, that radiates so far beyond itself, is just one more of the many parallels between Garnet and Aries.

Aquamarine

Aquamarine is the stone of courage, and that makes it the obvious choice for Aries, because there is no courage like an Aries going after what they know they need to do. But where many Aries have more of a brash, act first ask questions later, take no prisoners, nothing can stand in my way kind of courage, Aquamarine helps to balance that out with a more cool, confident, intuitive type of confidence. Aquamarine traditionally represents the ocean (the name literally translates to “water of the ocean), who, like Aries, IS an unstoppable force, but in a counterpoint to Aries, takes a more thoughtful and regulated approach. So I chose Aquamarine to affirm yes, fearlenssness, but also please, lets chill out about it a little.

Red Jasper

Aries is all about ACTION, which we love, but SOMETIMES, when things get moving really fast… that can create the perfect environment for racing thoughts. Sometimes a quick wit is exactly what’s needed, and sometimes… that quickness can go downhill FAST. Red Jasper is here to quell those worries and cut out all of the mental noise that keeps us from sticking to the things that need to be DONE. Sometimes we may make the mistake of assuming that action and calm are opposite ends of a spectrum, but the truth is, there is nothing more powerful than when they come together with a united goal, and no one knows this quite like an Aries.

And finally,

Hematite

If I were to pick one, somewhat stereotypical struggle for those with Aries placements, it’s definitely going to be the chaotic nature of being go, go, go. Aries gets an idea, and Aries goes hard until they make it happen. But sometimes, it isn’t the most healthy or sustainable thing. Hematite is here to help. Not to weigh us down, but to bring balance and protection. Hematite is all about security and stability, the ancient Greeks associated it with Mars, who they called… Ares. It brings clarity to decision making, and encourages mindfulness, so rather than try and tone down the Aries nature, it helps make it more effective.

These were my top crystals for Aries season (and Aries placements), which would you add to the list? Any you disagree with?

I hope that you’ve enjoyed getting to know each of these crystals on a deeper level, because I have truly loved getting to dive into this research for you. If you’re looking for a jewelry piece that combines all of them, you can shop the Crystals for Aries collection right here. And if you’re looking for guidance in setting your new moon intentions, my Journaling Prompts for Aries Season PDF is a great place to start!

CRYSTALS FOR ARIES

from $30.00

And yes, I will keep rolling these for the rest of the new moons this year!

On giving up self-sabotage for Lent.

One thing about the way I grew up that I’m only just now realizing wasn’t… “normal” is that while my family was very involved in our church, which was part of an extremely niche reformed denomination with a HUGE emphasis on not just studying the systematic theology but being able to absolutely slaughter any opponent in any kind of debate on even the most obscure theological points, I actually have exactly zero experience with the traditional Church Calendar.

Like, yes we did celebrate Christmas and Easter Sunday, but those services weren’t really special or different, and… that’s it. Things like Holy Week and Advent? I had heard of them but never observed them, and while I can’t remember any detailed arguments against them, I do think that there was some kind of theological stance, not just on why they weren’t important but possibly also why doing so was bad.

I should probably also mention that I definitely grew up in a cult. Please take everything I say with a grain of salt and an awareness that this was a very specific situation, and understand that very little that I say on this topic reflects Christianity as a whole.

It was an EXTREMELY religion-heavy environment, but there was no anchor in Church history or repeating traditions (or emotion, or mysticism). I’m realizing NOW that those things typically go hand in hand, but I need you guys to understand that even though I grew up VERY “in the church” with all of the homeschooled youth group multiple services a week, what I am going to say next is going to sound very, very ignorant:

On February 13, my kids started up their Yoto player (affiliate link) to listen to the Yoto Daily podcast and we learned about Shrove Tuesday, which, I need to reiterate: I had just heard about for the first time (the podcast is produced in England to a primarily English audience, so the focus was on the pancakes). Being the incredibly homeschooled family that we are (this is one part of my upbringing that felt worth repeating, but that’s a story for a different day), we made pancakes for lunch.

This mundane moment of modeling lifelong learning prompted some questions about my relationship with the divine, and as I pondered over them something I had never considered came to mind: maybe the hollow, empty feeling that religious observance had always had for me was not something wrong with ME, but a product of the environment I was raised in.

And then I had a bit of a spiritual revelation, an opportunity for rebellion, if you will. What if I, after eating these pancakes on Shrove Tuesday, decided to observe Lent? We can pause to appreciate the irony that observing Lent for the first time in my life felt like an act of spiritual rebellion.

That day, after exactly zero deliberation, I decided to give up self-sabotage for Lent.

Yes, I am fully aware of how much this does not sound like a Lent-y thing to give up, but hear me out: self-sabotage is the security blanket that keeps me from doing the things that I know that I’m meant to do. Well, I’m not super solid on what I’m actually meant to do, but something I am extremely solid on is that my habit of self-sabotage does keep me from doing THINGS in general, whether or not they are THE thing that I’m meant to do. Self-sabotage is a trauma response that helps me keep myself safe from the unknown potential of… not self-sabotaging.

I’d gotten through enough therapy and journaling and self care and all the things to realize that while yes, self-sabotage kept me safe when I was in an abusive marriage, where success in anything could put me in actual danger if it threatened my then-husband’s ego, I don’t need it anymore.

But it feels easier to keep doing it, because letting go of it would mean confronting the absolutely terrifying unknown of… what am I actually capable of if I’m not boxing myself into artificial limits? It would mean admitting that I actually have no idea what I am capable of doing, so I don’t even know for certain that I’m… doing my actual best.

So… maybe actually it does feel like a very Lent-y thing to sacrifice and meditate on for forty days.

Here is a non-exhaustive list of things that I managed to do, just because I dedicated a few weeks to… not giving into the urge to tell myself I can’t, to make myself small, to keep myself safe. Basically, every time I ran into an “maybe I could do this”, instead of letting that thought win, I just… went for it. And by the end of it I had…

• Finished my Affirmation Card download, and wrote a blog post about it.

• Submitted my first article query.

• Applied for my first feature on someone else’s website.

• Went completely unfiltered and unmasked on Threads.

• Didn’t let our busy schedule and my lack of childcare stop me from taking myself on writing dates by using Tom Sawyer Island as my co-working space with included childcare.

• Outlined an entire cookbook.

• Published another blog post and put up some product listings to go with it.

• Wrote some good email newsletters.

• Submitted another article query.

• Made a new resume and applied for some jobs that were in alignment with my immediate needs AND long term goals.

• Dove deeper into advocating for my son and increasing his disability services.

• Fixed a clogged kitchen sink all by myself.

• Paid off the final balance on the credit card debt my ex stuck me with in my divorce.

• Finished three classes for my Bachelors degree.

• Outlined my blog post strategy for the rest of the year.

• Made 550 pin packs for the Craftcation goodie bag.

• Got out my sewing machine for the first time in MONTHS.

• Applied for (and was accepted into) an actually relevant affiliate program.

• Re-ignited my commitment to a lower-consumption lifestyle.

• Made a doctor’s appointment to get a prescription for migraine medicine.

• Started a daily stretching practice.

• Designed my first print-on-demand products.

• Committed to taking the extra ten minutes to get DRESSED every day.

• Turned a failed collaboration from last year into a new journaling prompt PDF for you.

Obviously, it’s not a short list (and keep in mind I was doing all of these things in the midst of 100% parenting/homeschooling/household responsibilities and my business and my internship). The takeaways have not been small either.

Early in the process I had to have a reckoning about how much I had been NOT working on developing myself as a writer specifically because of my aversion to being visible. And on a similar vein, I was STARTING projects and SAVING applications but not finishing and submitting them because… I wasn’t sure I had them PERFECT yet.

THIS was the self-serving behavior that I had to stop: giving myself the option to “fail” at things that I didn’t really even wholeheartedly DO in the first place. But giving myself the permission to do them imperfectly, afraid, not 100% sure on how the end product would turn out? A complete game changer.

Did I have some incredible results and make my life do a 180 and be completely perfect now? No, and, that really wasn’t the point of any of it. But I did have some really incredible insights, like:

• Things don’t have to be 100% figured out from beginning to end to just try them out.

• Working with what you have from where you are NOW is totally fine.

• There is literally no consequence to sending a query or application, the worst that can happen is they ignore it or say no.

• I CAN get big things done EVEN WITH the crazy constraints in my life.

• All of the pieces that I need for the life I want to live are here, the work is on putting them together, not trying to find more or better pieces.

• Baby steps DO become forward motion, I’m not going to be stuck here forever.

• It is totally, completely safe for me to show up as my biggest, loudest, most me-est me and succeed at whatever I do.

Officially, Lent has been over for a couple of days, but the freedom and growth that came from sacrificing my security blanket of self-sabotage is something that I hope never ends.

Lovely Lovely Lepidolite

I think we are all keenly aware of the fact that the world shut down almost exactly four years ago. There are a lot of topics we could dive into as we examine how the past four years have shaped us. But one thing about me is that I’m a sucker for a full-circle moment. And that’s what I want to go into today.

I want to go back to a moment when everything seemed so strange and unpredictable, and I chose to make a choice that changed the direction of my business, come back to the current moment when everything seems equally strange and unpredictable, and I’m choosing to make a choice that will change the direction of my business, and the crystal that was exactly what I needed in both moments: Lepidolite.

Lepidolite Necklace Four

from $35.00

First, lets get into the science facts: Lepidolite is an shimmery, Lithium-bearing Mica crystal that usually forms in flat slabs. It’s found all over the world, from the United States to Madagascar, and is not particularly uncommon. It is most commonly purple but can be pink as well. (source: The Crystal Bible by Judy Hall)

I first met Lepidolite in a third, previously unmentioned moment where everything seemed strange and unpredictable: at a crystal store in Hermosa Beach that I visited with my youngest sister and my two kids during the summer immediately after leaving my abusive ex husband. I was JUST starting to dip my toes into crystals, I don’t even think I’d started my jewelry business yet, and I had been on the hunt for some stones I had just learned about that were all about calming and cleansing. I remember one was selenite, one was black obsidian, and I got my kids their first crystals (clear quartz for my oldest, rose quartz for my son), and I’m not sure what else. I distinctly remember my oldest losing her shit because I said her dad was picking her up for the weekend (at the time this was a brand new development and she felt like I sprung it on her randomly) and my youngest offering to let her hold his rose quartz to calm down. It’s funny the things that stick with us.

What also stuck with me was the deep soothing energy of the little piece of Lepidolite that I bought that day.

It would be a few weeks (months?) before I started my jewelry business, and as I was adding new stones to my collection I knew that Lepidolite was a one that I NEEDED to get.

Because it literally contains Lithium (a common ingredient in psychiatric medication), Lepidolite is strongly associated with bringing a calming and stabilizing energy when life gets overwhelming. Lepidolite is the perfect stone for times of transition, because it reminds us that everything is ok, and is going to be ok. (source: Crystals - The Modern Guide to Crystal Healing by Yulia Van Doren) This was absolutely a top choice for my crisis-induced jewelry business.

Lepidolite Hoops (pair one)

from $35.00

The thing was, it took me a WHILE to find a strand of Lepidolite beads in the style that had become my trademark, so even though my business started in August of 2019 and I’d been looking for Lepidolite beads basically that whole time, I didn’t have any in my possession until early 2020.

And before we even get into the events of March 2020, I had my first major growing pain: because when I started my jewelry business, I had NO money to invest and honestly no plans on starting a whole BUSINESS out of that project… I had been making my necklaces from cheap, bulk silver plated chains from Etsy. This fit my ethos of bringing pieces to market FAST and at an accessible price point, but the reality was that they DID tarnish quickly and were not the kind of long-term wardrobe staple I was envisioning.

I really WANTED to switch over to solid sterling chains (my earrings were already on solid sterling since the wires cost much less than the chains), but I’d set a certain pace for the amount of jewelry I was making/posting for sale each week, and there was no way I had the up-front costs to continue that in solid sterling. The jump from paying $17 for 25 chains to paying $5-6 EACH was just too big to do all at once. I bought a few and offered sterling as an optional upgrade, which some people did take me up on, but that was a a somewhat clumsy process of getting an order and then re-making the existing piece on the sterling chain.

Fully switching to sterling would mean that I’d have to drastically slow my pace. And slightly raise my prices. AND I was a newly single mom on welfare with no child support in sight and I needed the money.

And then the pandemic hit.

I had no in-person markets to book (this ended up being only temporary), I had to shutter my private, in-home sewing lesson business (this ended up being permanent), and I wanted to make a change that would put a pretty firm cap on how much money I could make each weekend in online jewelry sales. But there was one bright spot that was the pandemic unemployment benefits. After a CAREFUL read over the rules and income limits and all that… I realized that it was time.

And I did my first all-sterling crystal drop.

Of Lepidolite.

Now I guess we’ll never know if people were drawn to the properties of the stone, or just that everyone was filling their time with online shopping, but what I do know for sure is that that first solid sterling batch of Lepidolite almost sold out.

SO obviously, every time I was shopping for new beads, I was on the hunt for more Lepidolite beads.

AND I NEVER FOUND MORE.

For years.

Until this past summer when I had fundraised for a big bead order to replace all of the inventory that was stolen out of my car (my entire box of backstock, close to $10k of jewelry and my insurance only covered $1500). And there they were. The Lepidolite beads I had been searching for, all that time.

And now they’re back, with a limited collection of one-of-a-kind pieces.

Lepidolite Necklace One

from $35.00

Just in perfect, full circle timing, for this new moment where everything seems strange and unpredictable, making a choice that will change the direction of my business.

I’ve been feeling for the better part of a year, that the way that my business organically formed over pandemic times was not working anymore. I knew in my bones that SOMETHNG needed to change but I had no idea what that something was.

I felt so much like I was working AGAINST my weaknesses instead of WITH my strengths. I invested SO much time, money, and energy into things that “made sense” as the next step and none of them were going anywhere.

I went back to school. I got an internship in an “adult job” field. I focused my energy on my own daily habits, on my kids’ self-sufficiency, on letting myself REST.

It took me months of failure and a complete financial and mental health collapse and a painstakingly slow recovery to peel away the layers of burnout and self-preservation to uncover that, in all honesty, what I do best when I’m most aligned with my zone of genius, is writing.

Which is essentially the long answer for why I’m here with a very long blog post, finally telling the STORIES that brought about the jewelry brand that has been struggling because I had been pushing down the stories in favor of trying to let the product “speak for itself.” Products can’t speak. But I can. And clearly, once I get started, it’s hard for me to stop.

This feels like a moment of stepping into a vast, uncharted new territory.

But I’m not stressing about it.

Because I have my Lepidolite.

Lepidolite Hoops (pair four)

from $35.00

(Disclosure: all images are my own unless otherwise specified, and I use Amazon Associate links to earn a small commission from purchases made through them)

How to use your Crystal Affirmation Cards

Hello friends,

If last year was the ride that I wanted so badly to get off of but couldn’t, this year is already shaping up to be the magical journey of FINALLY making the life and business that really works for me.

And that starts today. Ok actually it started a couple of weeks ago when I decided that I was giving up self-sabotage for lent. But that’s a story for a different day.

Basically, every day that I want to run and hide and make myself small because that’s what feels safe… I’m getting off my ass and doing the hard thing that I know is the right thing. Yes this is… something that is happening literally every single day because that’s how deeply ingrained the self-sabotage is.

So here we are, with a new blog post (one of the major players in the new model of how things will be going here for the rest of the year) to announce a new, free, printable resource for keeping the good vibes flowing wherever you are (or, helping to get through some bad vibes if that’s what you’re going through):

Allow me to introduce, my very first mini-deck of self-love affirmation cards.

(hold for applause and audible gasps of shock and awe)

What are they?

Exactly like it says on the tin: 24 (meaning I designed 24 different ones) Printable (meaning you download the file, which is linked here, print them out at home, at work, or at your local public library) Self Love (meaning themed around building and reinforcing love and compassion for yourself and seeing yourself in the best possible light), Affirmation (they have positive affirmation statements written on them for you to read or say out loud to yourself), Cards (they are printed on paper cards so that you can tape them in places you want to see them regularly, carry them with you, or give them out to people who you think could use them)

How do I use them?

Ok so I guess there are two directions this question could go in: How do I use the digital file and how do I use the physical cards made from the file.

The answer to the first question is “click on the link, download the file from my Google Drive to save to your computer, then print them out (ideally on card stock, but ordinary paper will do) at 100% scale, then cut out the individual cards.”

And the answer to the second question is “that’s really up to you and how you like to work with affirmations, but a few suggestions that I might offer would be: tape your favorites up on every mirror you regularly use so that you can repeat them to yourself until you really, really believe them, put a few in your purse/wallet/planner so that you can have positive reminders wherever you go, shuffle them like tarot cards and pick one to reflect on in your journaling, or carry the whole pack with you and place them in inconspicuous public places so that a stranger can find them”

Why would I need these?

To increase positive feelings of self-love, obviously.

Ok I know that was a kind of woo-woo answer but here’s some real brain science to back it up: due to something called neuroplasticity, our brains, EVEN OUR VERY SET IN THEIR WAYS ADULT BRAINS can create shortcuts called neural pathways that allow us to bypass conscious thought (the part where my might talk ourselves out of believing something positive about ourself), and simply believe and embody a version of ourself that is more aligned with what we want to be. Affirmations (and by extension, having tangible reminders of them like affirmation cards) are a perfect tool to use this to our advantage.

Where do I get them?

By subscribing to my email list. All new subscribers will get a welcome email with the download link. But, since I understand that not everyone wants to join yet another email list (mine is really good though) and I don’t want to take away your ability to support my family financially (because this is, literally, my actual full time job that pays my bills), I also made the download available on my website.

Can you tell me a little bit more about the artwork?

Sure! I designed all of the cards around my own photography (those are my hands holding crystals from my personal collection), wrote the affirmations, and spent way too long nitpicking over designs and what was going where. Then, because I have no self-control, what I meant to be a single page printable turned into four pages of a complete affirmation card deck…

Wait one more time where is the link to get them?

You can purchase them here. The download link is in the welcome email if you want them for free.

If you’ve found a creative way to use your affirmation cards, PLEASE leave it in the comments, I can’t wait to find out how other people are using them. If you post photos on Instagram, be sure to tag @shop.victoriaannmeyers so that I can share them and keep those good vibes flowing around and around and around!

Til next time!

Citrine: the champagne of crystals

My journey with crystals didn’t START with Citrine, per se.

But if I were to pick a single stone that is WHY I do what I do for a living, it would absolutely, 100%, for sure, definitely, be Citrine.

If you’re familiar with my story, you know that my artistic/business background is not in jewelry. Honestly, what I’m best at/have put most of my professional efforts into is garment sewing, followed closely by teaching, then other assorted fiber arts (think knitting, crochet, embroidery), then writing, then fine arts…

Jewelry is, honestly, not very high on my list of experience/skillset, and yet, this is the thing I do for work, that’s been, truly, the only thing that’s WORKED long-term.

But that’s the magic of Citrine.

Citrine Necklace One

from $35.00

While my first experience with crystal energy happened during a very strange crisis-induced visit to a metaphysical store, it took several more months to meet Citrine.

I first heard of Citrine from Gala Darling, when I did her Cash Money Honey course (that was the only course I finished out of another crisis-induced course bundle purchase), and there was a lesson about cleaning out your wallet and putting a piece of Citrine in it to attract and multiply abundance.

As a newly single, extremely traumatized mother of two small children, with no income after several years being a SAHM, this was the hope and positivity I needed.

So on my SECOND trip to a metaphysical store, I bought myself a tiny piece of Citrine.

If you haven’t ever been to a metaphysical store, you may not be familiar with the little cards that come with the crystals to tell you more about them. As I became more familiar with my little piece of Citrine, I leaned into its properties: joy, success, abundance… in clear yellow bubbles just like a sip of champagne.

It was everything I wanted and needed in my life at that time.

And I needed to have that energy with me at all times. I needed a Citrine Necklace.

Citrine Necklace Two

from $35.00

I had a super clear picture in my mind of what I wanted, and I was SURE that I’d quickly find what I was looking for on Etsy.

Unfortunately, I didn’t.

Which was weird because I definitely knew that the beads that I wanted on the necklace existed, and because I had previously gone through a phase of making essential oil necklaces for friends and family, I knew it would be very easy to put them on a necklace chain in the configuration that I was envisioning. But no one else was already doing it. So, I guess I had to?

Well, here’s a fun fact for anyone out there who doesn’t know about jewelry making supplies: for some weird reason buying a single quantity of any jewelry supply item (necklace chain, beads, wire, etc), is roughly the same price as buying a bulk pack of that item.

So… I made the (at the time) questionable decision to spend $100 that I absolutely did not have on my PayPal business credit line on some supplies so that I could make this necklace happen and just… hope? that my Instagram friends would buy enough of them to cover this financial misstep.

Obviously, I wouldn’t be here writing this if they didn’t.

The first batch almost completely sold out. People asked for more choices. Smaller stones. Earrings. Sterling Silver instead of plated. Gold filled hardware. And on and on from there, my business slowly and steadily grew into what it is now.

And it all comes back to that Citrine.

Citrine Necklace Three

from $35.00

A stone that’s not just about financial abundance that comes from years of hard toil, but abundance that FLOWS through joyful, cup-filling work, that is EASY and FUN and GOING WELL.

Over the past, I don’t know, year and a half? So many aspects of my life and business have just, imploded. When I start to unpack where things went wrong, it comes right back around to Citrine. Or rather, losing sight of that Citrine energy, and letting my life overflow with those magical champagne bubbles of joy and abundance.

It’s time to bring that back. It’s why I’m even here in the first place. If I’m going to keep going, that’s the magic I need to hold on to.

So, let’s raise a toast to Citrine: the champagne of crystals.

Citrine Necklace Four

from $35.00

2023 Holiday Gift Guide

It’s that time of the year:

Holiday parties are coming, holiday gifts need purchased, and the cry to “shop small” is stronger than ever in these bleak economic times. We know we should, we all know the immense value in supporting small businesses, and giving unique, thoughtful gifts, but with all of the * gestures broadly * thats going on, it can feel overwhelming and unattainable.

Trust me, I get it.

And that’s why I’m here, making this gift guide, not as a list of more things that you need to do, but as my gift to you of removing several steps from the immense mental load that is planning and purchasing holiday gifts. Look, I’m not a fan of long-winded, beat-around-the-bush marketing, so I’m just going to lay all my cards out on the table right now:

This entire gift guide is composed of holiday gift ideas for MANY people that may or may be on your holiday gifting list (my apologies if you thought you were done and I reminded you of someone else to shop for!!!), that are all available for purchase right now, on one website, for 15% off with the code GIFTGUIDE). I’m really here to make this as easy as possible for you to get a ton of shopping done, all in one step, WITH THE ADDED BONUS of feeling really great that you supported a WOC-owned small business. Aren’t you so lucky to have me in your life????

Ok, ok, enough preamble lets get into the actual gift guide, which I’ve organized by difficult-to-shop-for recipients because yes, I am that thoughtful and amazing, thank you for noticing.

Yep, I’m coming right out of the gate with the HARDEST one, and guess what: this gift is also likely to make her cry and/or upgrade you to favorite child status. It’s a customized birthstone necklace. Not only am I a mom, but I also have a mom and know TONS of moms. Moms LOVE customized things, and they especially love customized things that remind them of their kids and grandkids. Not all moms are a cricut decal Stanley cup mom (which we totally respect in this house, all genres of mom are welcome here), but that doesn’t mean that our subtle, classy moms can’t participate in the customized mom-gift festivities. That is, specifically what I am here for. My custom birthstone necklaces obviously have all 12 birthstones available (it would be silly if they didn’t), AND have options for one, two, three, or four stones to be included on the necklace (which is on a very dainty 18 inch chain in solid .925 sterling silver OR 14k gold filled, I mean, I’ve really thought of everyone here).

And NO, this gift idea is not limited just to moms wanting the birthstones of their own kids. Here is a helpful and non-exhaustive list of other potential recipients and appropriate birthstone configurations:

• Newlyweds (both spouses’ birthstones)

• Sisters (matching necklaces with all sisters’ stones)

• Grandmas (with grandkids’ birthstones)

• People who just love customized things (their own birthstone)

• People you want to always be reminded of how great you are (your birthstone)

• I mean truly, the list goes on and on.

Ok so now you need a gift for that person that is way classier than you and everything they have is so much nicer than anything they sell at places you shop.

Is that extremely specific? Yes. But if we’re all really, truly honest with ourselves, do we ALL have somebody like this in our lives? Also yes. If we’re being completely honest here… This is the exact person I was thinking of when I designed my Freshwater Pearl Collection.

Pearls are a classic, with a beauty that transcends age groups and fashion trends and social demographics, and my Freshwater Pearl Necklaces blend this timeless elegance with my signature minimalist styling for pieces that are truly special, and there are three different style options: tiny tiny seed pearls, organic round pearls, and Biwa stick pearls to suit all kinds of classy tastes.

So whether the headline conjured up the mental picture of your grandma who is always dressed to the nines, your super successful sister-in-law, your college roommate who is about to get married (these make great bridal jewelry!!!!), your boss who you were horrified to draw in the office secret santa… I’ve got you covered.

What are you getting for your witchy friend, who is super into astrology and crystals, but you don’t know enough about either to be sure you’re getting the right thing?

I know, this is where you THOUGHT I was going to start, but what can I say, I am FULL of surprises.

But back to our point. The answer to our conundrum is actually super simple: The Zodiac Collection. If you know their birthday, you are one quick google away from knowing their Sun Sign, and you have everything you need to know to get them a necklace, pair of hoops, or even a matching set. Yes, I have all 12 of them.

Actually what makes this collection so special is that I spent an entire astrological year (from the beginning of Aries Season to the end of Pisces Season) doing a deep dive into each sign, what their innate strengths are, and where they tend to be challenged, and then curated a collection of 5 stones that enhances/balances those traits. So in addition to being an incredibly thoughtful gift, it also comes with a card that lists the stones and properties that I chose for each sign, so no, you don’t need to know about crystals, or even zodiac signs, to really knock it out of the park with this gift.

And what about the kids, who are simultaneously very cool but also weirdly vague about their interests…

Honestly the answer for this one is STICKERS. So many stickers. I have stickers with pictures I took in Paris on them. Stickers with bold affirmations on them. Stickers with swear words on them. EVEN STICKERS WITH BOOBS ON THEM. Just what everyone needs for their emotional support water bottle. And if you happen to have some youths on your shopping list that are keeping the punk traditions alive: there are also pins.

Also, speaking from my experiences at in-person markets: kids also love the mother of pearl star necklaces.

Next up is your friend that is super into essential oils.

I feel like, we all have at least one of these people in our lives but unfortunately because there are VERY STRONG OPINIONS about brands and types of essential oils (and a myriad of motivations on getting so into them) it can be tricky to find a gift that complements their passion but isn’t accidentally something that they don’t use and are offended by you not knowing which kinds of handmade soaps or candles are “good” and which ones aren’t.

And for them I have my essential oil jewelry collection. Fun fact, essential oil necklaces were the very first jewelry thing I ever made, back in 2016 when my infant son broke the one wore every day and I had to make a new one becasue I couldn’t afford to replace it (and then I gifted all of the others to friends and family for the next year of holidays and birthdays), AND they were the first jewelry I ever made to sell, way back in 2019 when I was a newly single mom with no income trying to figure out how I was going to take care of my kids all by myself (spoiler alert, it was by selling jewelry).

My essential oil collection is all made with natural lava rock. The lava rock beads are porous, so when you drip a drop or two of your favorite essential oils on them, they act as your own personal little diffuser, and the therapeutic benefits of the oils will remain on the beads for 2-3 days (one note of caution, please do not put citrus oils on a necklace thats sitting directly on your skin and then go out in the sun unless you want to be very surprised by a mystery burn that looks like you’ve been strangled, citrus oils increase photosensitivity and should always be used with care).

Also, side note, I’ve been making/selling essential oil jewelry for A WHILE, and while yes, essential oil necklaces are something that you see other places and a very passionate essential oil person may already have one… Essential oil EARRINGS (which I have several styles of available!!!) are far less common. So, just putting it out there if you’re feeling like you need a more unique gift.

Do you have a minimalist on your list?

My 15mm tiniest crystal hoops are as mini as they come. For true minimalist vibes I’d reccomend clear quartz, hematite, black obsidian, moonstone, or herkeimer diamond on either sterling or gold filled, but there are 33 other crystals to choose from to get the perfect pair.

Oh, and no matter what stone you choose, each pair is lovingly gift-wrapped AND comes with a card explaining the healing properties of the stone that you picked.

Shopping for a maximalist fashion icon is a fun challenge, and I have just the thing:

Abalone moon hoops.

That’s it, thats the gift. They are bold, they are swingy, they are shiny, and no two pairs are alike.

Ok maybe we need some more options. Labradorite Maiden, Mother, Crone necklace.

Again, bold and one-of-a-kind pieces for your favorite person that embodies 100% bold and one-of-a-kind-ness.

And finally, as a Libra, I am legally obligated to build a little treat into literally every single thing that I have to do as a reward for doing the thing. And because you sat with me here, and did so much holiday shopping, I think theres one more person you need to get something for:

Yourself. Look at you, you just did an incredible job getting so much holiday shopping done, while supporting a WOC-owned small business, AND saving so much money (because you used the code GIFTGUIDE to get 15% off). I’m so proud of you and if anyone deserves a little treat, its you.

And for you, I picked these precious little mother of pearl flower hoops. I love these, they haven’t been given the attention they deserve. Also, just between us, these were a limited run and when they’re gone… They’re gone for good.

This is Thirty (and a half)

Today’s my half-birthday, which according to my brother is not a thing, but for a variety of reasons, we don’t listen to my brother. I started “observing” half-birthdays when I made my oldest (now eight) a half-circle cake when she turned 18 months old. And it kind of stuck. On the kids’ half birthdays they get to pick something fun to do, maybe we go on a field trip or to Disneyland or maybe it’s just a regular day and they get to pick what we have for dinner/dessert. It’s just one of those little things that makes me happy.

Which is something I think we all need a lot more of right now, given the uh… circumstances.

And since my actual birthday last year kind of just got dissolved into the drama of beginning my divorce and having to grapple with the unfairness of how much of the damage my ex did was just… on me to fix. I didn’t feel up to really celebrating and honestly spent most of my 30th birthday alone and crying (a fun repeat of my 22nd and 26th birthdays!). So I’ve kind of just… moved my birthday to… today.

The things I would have normally done on October 11th, like buying myself an entire gluten free cake from the bakery at Sprouts, making myself a pizza with actual pasteurized mozzarella cheese for dinner, making an extremely emo spotify playlist, and finally caving and ordering myself a nintendo switch because IF I CANT GO TO DISNEYLAND I AM GOING TO AT LEAST HAVE ANIMAL CROSSING TO KEEP ME COMPANY. Today is MY FUCKING DAY (it helps that my kids are with their dad this weekend).

And since, I have the time and mental space today, I just want to spend some time soaking in the gratitude I have for everything that’s happened in the past six months. All I’ve built, all I’ve learned, all I’ve let go of, and how much I really, truly have grown in such a short time.

The thing that’s sticking out to me the most today is how grateful I am to have gotten to test out that thing about how before you decide you’re depressed make sure you’re not surrounded by assholes thing.

Since I turned 30 I’ve certainly made a lot of progress as far as learning what my boundaries are, what toxic environments I need to remove myself from, and how I can be true to myself and live out my values without always being on the defensive. I’m not perfect at this, and certainly have a long way to go here.

BUT.

I can say that the internal shift that’s come with choosing to spend my time and energy on the relationships where I’m a “wealth of knowledge” rather than a “know it all”, “inspiring” instead of “annoying”, and “talented” instead of “weird”, where people say they’re proud of me or that I’ve made them think differently about something has been A TRIP. Because even though I know that so much of our mental health boils down to our own self talk, it’s really hard to practice that if you never hear it from the outside. And having that practice on the inside has helped me learn to turn that outward and show that same appreciation for others, that for me are the talented and inspiring wealths of knowledge that I’m proud of, and finally getting to be a part in a cycle of positivity and building up, rather than conflict and competition.

This is completely foreign after spending the majority of my teens and twenties trying to fit myself into groups where there just wasn’t a place for me, and then feeling bad about myself with then made me feel bad about the people who were already in those groups. And I love it.

And I think it’s really this new positive turn in the relationship I have with both myself and others, that has helped me to be so… ok (comparatively speaking) with living through a global crisis. A past version of myself would have spent these past couple weeks panicking and sobbing about how she had JUST managed to start earning enough money to keep the bills paid alone and now that’s gone for who knows how long and what if she can’t get that back. But the current version of myself knows that the fact that (with a lot of help) she could overcome the hurdles of her past and, in a matter of MONTHS, rebuild her life (really, build it up for the first time) after a decade of poverty and trauma to something somewhat stable, she can definitely do it again, probably better and faster because she’s got a new toolbox filled with all the lessons she learned going through it the first time.

I like this version of myself better.

I like thirty-and-a-half.

What we eat (and why)

If you know me in real life, you know that I’m the epitome of Libra/Enneagram 4/INFJ and I just don’t really want to fit neatly into any boxes. I like to see all sides of issues, make thoughtful decisions on a case-by-case basis, and I just really struggle with any kind of overly dogmatic lifestyle. I’ve noticed I live a lot of life in that grey, in-between space, straddling the line between all of the most divisive parenting issues, and our diet is NO EXCEPTION. Since recipes/meal planning/food stuff is something I’ve wanted to post more of, and people have asked about, I thought I’d take a minute to explain a little more about what we eat (and don’t eat) and why:

We don’t eat gluten

Benny and I have celiac disease, which, in case you’ve never been at a party with me, is a hereditary autoimmune disease in which a defective antibody perceives the gluten (protein found in wheat and other grains) as a foreign body that must be attacked, resulting in (most commonly) disgusting digestive issues and other chronic health problems. No, it is not an allergy, and no, there is 0% chance Benny will grow out of it someday. The only treatment is not eating gluten, and, because the immune system is a cruel mistress, even small amounts of gluten can create long term problems and the more you eat the worse the reactions get. SO we can never have anything gluten in the house, except for a loaf of bread for Alice to make herself sandwiches and toast with because the poor thing has to eat an unnecessarily gluten free diet because this mom is NOT cooking twice.

We don’t eat meat

Ok * I * don’t eat meat (chicken, beef, pork, etc), for a complicated web of social and environmental reasons. So I don’t cook meat and the kids never have it at home. They’re allowed to eat it at restaurants and other people’s houses, but, in all honesty they don’t even always choose it.

We do eat eggs

I was vegan for several years when I was a teenager and I’m going to be honest, that diet just didn't work for me health-wise. I need some animal fat and protein in there or I’m just really weak and generally not well. Eggs work well to get some extra fat and protein in while being less delicious than cheese so I can keep a better control over portions (we’ll get to that later). While ideally I’d like to only buy pasture-raised eggs, that’s just not financially an option for us, so, I just buy regular white store eggs.

We do eat fish and seafood (but not often)

Ok so I have this thing where I absolutely 100% COULD NOT eat an animal that there is any potential I could become friends with. But I don’t see this potential in any kind of fish or ocean animal (except maybe whales but whale has never been an option presented to me), so we do eat fish occasionally. But mainly just cans of (line caught) tuna. We used to eat a lot of fish (and by a lot I mean at most twice a week which is probably not actually a lot), but in an effort to be more fiscally and environmentally conscious with our food purchases (farmed fish is bad and sustainable fish is too expensive), I don’t buy fish for our like, normal home dinners anymore.

We don’t eat dairy*

Ok here’s where things get tricky: Benny can not have any dairy at all or he gets really gross digestive problems, and if I’m going to have to choose between being bossed around by food or by poop, I’m going to pick food. I can (word used loosely) eat dairy but it turns out that if I eat too much my fibromyalgia-related inflammation gets really bad, so, in general, I don’t eat dairy. Ok I do but I almost always regret it. Recently we’ve found that both of us tolerate raw, unpasteurized dairy really well, but that’s kind of spendy so we also use a lot of dairy alternatives like coconut cream, oat milk, and cashew cheese. Again poor Alice gets the short end of the stick because she has no dietary issues at all.

We don’t have treats at home

This is less of a “teaching the kids healthy habits” rule and more of a “mom has a problem with stress eating and doesn’t trust herself to just not eat all the treats” rule, but, it’s one that I’m really happy that we made. 1. because in general I think we make better food choices when a treat isn’t an option, and 2. because it makes when we DO go get a treat a lot more enjoyable/easy not to overindulge.

I don’t do snacks

So I do that mean french mom thing where the kids get the meals I make and thats it. I don’t limit portions at meals, and I won’t make them finish a meal. But if they leave a lot, I’ll pop that in the fridge for when they ask for a snack and they want more later, they can have nuts or fruit that they can get for themselves. Funnily enough they have yet to be hungry enough between meals to take me up on any of that…

I make as much as I can from scratch

There are two main reasons for this one: price and sustainability. We’ve gone through phases where we had NO grocery money, and those times taught me that there are SO MANY things you can make for SO MUCH cheaper than you can buy, and more recently as I’ve gotten into the zero-waste thing, it’s also probably the easiest way to reduce kitchen waste (both food and packaging). So our pantry and fridge are chock full of recycled jars filled with homemade sauces, peanut butter, hummus, granola, etc.

We don’t eat organic

I mean I’d like to, but I just can’t justify the price difference. We typically shop at Sprouts, and their prices for organic produce are often close enough to do some organic produce, and when I buy tofu I always get organic because soy (and it’s only 30 cents more), but… as far as our other grains and any other dry or packaged goods? Organic is not a priority we can have right now.

We eat out kind of a lot

For someone that spends so much time in the kitchen, I don’t actually enjoy cooking that much. Our take-out options are kind of slim between Benny and I, but… given the option, I’d much rather just pick something up instead of forcing myself to cook or pack food. And I don’t feel even a teeny bit guilty about it, since our at-home diet is really clean and budget-conscious.

I don’t police what the kids eat outside the home

Ok so we’ve gone over that our diet at home is pretty strict, but I don’t carry that with us when we’re out. With the exception of Benny’s allergies, the kids can eat whatever they want when we’re at restaurants or parties. This isn’t really a hill I’m willing do die on, and honestly generally, they do a really good job of regulating themselves, since they’re not eating junk all the time, their bodies don’t really want/like it.

So if that was confusing, I hear you. It’s confusing to explain to someone who heard me mention “vegan cheese” that we’re not vegan, or when I ask a restaurant multiple questions about their allergy menu and then Alice orders a grilled cheese sandwich. I don’t have a name for how we eat, sometimes if I try to label it I’ll say some combination of “low-waste-gluten-free-plant-based” but that’s a mouthful and doesn’t seem entirely accurate anyway…

But, if you’ve been creeping on my Instagram and rightly confused about our dietary ethos/restraints. This is it. And moving forward to any future food posts, this is kinda where it’s all coming from.

Is slow fashion a privilege?

Look, I'm not gonna beat around the bush here... if you're familiar with the idea of "slow fashion" at all, you've probably noticed that it caters to a... certain demographic. And... it's a very white, very affluent, very a-lot-of-time-on-their-hands kind of demographic. If fast fashion is designed to attract people with it's convenience and low prices, slow fashion, at least as it appears from the outside, seems to be... not very attainable to people who depend on those two things. Slow fashion seems to be limited to the privileged few who can afford painstakingly shopping for fair trade, organic, artisan make investment garments, or who have the time, skills, space, and equipment to make clothes themselves.

or is it?

I’m willing to argue that it’s fast fashion that’s the privilege.

whaaaaaaattt?

I know. Just hear me out here: fast fashion is based on two major principles, low prices and a constant influx of new trends. The clothes are affordable, yes, but the lower per-item prices is to get you to buy more pieces than you ordinarily would, ultimately spending more money than you would have in the first place because you got such a "good deal".

Second, fast fashion retailers use a calendar with as many as 52 "seasons", meaning, they can have new clothes every week creating a need for consumers to frequent the store so that they don't "miss anything". This creates a mindset where one is never not shopping, eyes always open looking for the next great deal, one that's so cheap they don't think much of the costs (financial, environmental, or social). Eventually it becomes such a deep habit that it's not entirely conscious. 

"But how is that a privilege, Victoria? We need clothes and what's wrong with getting them in the most affordable way possible?" Well, here's where I'm about to blow your mind... do we, does anyone, need a constant stream of new clothing? yes, we grow, we change, we have babies, move, change jobs, and all of those situations require new clothing to an extent. And even the best clothing doesn't last forever but... do we actually need a new outfit for every thing we go to? Do we need to be constantly hunting for our next new thing? How many of us, really, legitimately do not own enough clothing to keep us decently clothed between laundry days? Just... think about that for a minute. 

Nothing about fast fashion has to do with necessity.

And lets talk about the “other” costs of fast fashion: the exploitative wages, poor working conditions, and environmental consequences, that the buyer never even has to see or consider, let alone live in?

And now for the other side of the equation, does slow fashion include certain kinds of "luxury goods"? Yes, but here is a (non-exhaustive) list of other things that fall under the umbrella of "slow fashion": secondhand clothing (in all its forms), mending worn or damaged clothing, properly caring for clothing you already own, swapping borrowing clothing, refashioning/restyling clothing... things that are all generally associated with necessity rather than privilege?

To recap:

Buying more clothes than you need = privilege

“Needing” a constant stream of NEW clothes = privilege

Buying garments that are so cheap that the makers couldn’t possibly have made a living wage = privilege

Not having to see or deal with the environmental consequences of your purchases = privilege.

Slow fashion doesn’t sound so bad in comparison anymore, does it?

Healing myself through DIY fermentation

If you’re in my kitchen on any given day (as I am, for most of my day, it feels like), you’ll probably notice the jars. Like, copious amounts of jars. Jars with dried stuff in the pantry, jars of soup and stuff in the freezer, and jars of weird smelly liquids in the cabinet above the stove. These last jars are the ones I want to talk about today.

Over the past year or so I’ve gotten really into DIY fermentation. I started with apple cider vinegar, moved on to sourdough bread, sauerkraut, and most recently, ventured into an assortment of milk kefir varieties. On the surface this seemed like just one of my many phases, kind of a natural progression from the zero-waste/plant based thing, but over time, as my personal life fell apart, I realized it was a lot more than that.

After spending the majority of my 20’s in a really dark place, feeling alone and useless and like everything I did just made things worse, I’ve spent a good three-ish years now really intentionally nurturing whatever little bits of light I can find. It’s been grueling, discouraging work. I had always known the relationship I was in wasn’t good but over time realized that it was a cesspool of narcissistic abuse that I had gotten myself stuck in. I knew my self-esteem was shot and I couldn’t do the BIG things to make myself feel better, but I could dive into the little things. I mean that’s what you do when you’re trapped and can’t control the big things, right? You control the little things.

Making all our food was something that grew out of necessity: we didn’t have a lot of grocery money and my son and I have dietary restrictions. I needed a way to make our diet affordable, and doing low-waste plant-based with a lot from scratch really helped. And it made me feel confident and productive, knowing that at the very least I made us some decent food every day. No one likes just living on rice and beans (actually my kids really don’t like beans), and branching out into fermentations allowed me to do previously “expensive” things for practically free.

But something else was growing with the lactobacillus and wild yeast: I was growing. I couldn’t see myself making progress, drowning in the day-to-day responsibilities with the kids and walking on eggshells to avoid another big fight (thanks church “counselors” who told me the abuse was because I provoked it!), but every day I burped the kraut or fed the sourdough, and I could see the transformation. With just a little bit of time and care, regular foods could be transformed into something special. And maybe I could too.

I started to see myself in those jars: I felt like trash, but so were the apple cores that would become the apple cider vinegar that we used a lot of couldn’t really afford to keep buying. I’d been crushed over and over again, but the cabbage had to be too in order to become sauerkraut. The sourdough kept growing and getting better as long as I kept it fed, turning plain flour and water into something magical I couldn’t find anywhere else.

I’d tried DIY fermentation once before, years ago, and it went horribly. I’d convinced myself I couldn’t do it. But here I was, older, wiser, more experienced, more patient, and I was doing it. What if I tried again for me? What if I could put that same care into myself? What could happen?

I could become someone that’s not deeply entrenched in self-loathing. I could be someone who asks for help with the kids and goes out with friends. I could be someone that takes time to enjoy things, someone that doesn’t wait around for others to make plans, someone that tries new things, someone that goes on crazy adventures, someone that doesn’t live in a constant existential dread that something terrible is about to happen. I could become someone that isn’t (as) easily manipulated.

I could become all of those things, and destroy all that was left holding my abusive relationship together. I could keep pushing forward, keep learning and growing, keep feeding myself, giving myself time…

I could make plain milk into creamy yogurty kefir. I could become someone thats strong enough to leave.

It didn’t happen overnight. But neither does sauerkraut.